i won't die.

[Ocean Side]

My time in this academy is over. I understand the world around me now.

Over the course of the years, I have faced many trials that have molded me from a boy, into a man. 

I've met people. Good people with good intentions. Kind ones that will reach out to you.

.. and I have met many more that are bad.

The kind of people that smile and bid you good tidings in your face, but when you're not there, they curse your name and plot against you. The kind that know no understanding beyond their own self-absorbed purview. People that always put themselves first before others. 

The kind that mock me, spit on me and would piss on my grave!

.. But no more.

I am a man with ambition. One meant to carry out the will of God and cast out the wicked west. The era is changing, and I won't let anything stop me from seeing it, not even the frailty that is my decaying body. It's far too soon. So whatever it takes..

I WON'T DIE.

[Ocean Side]

I understand it all now.

They tore their way into our city and ransacked it in one petty dispute for not only one of their criminals, but a girl who they would only persecute at home. We defended it with everything we had, and in the process, the man whose wedding I was to officiate was shot and killed in our very streets, with none of us able to stop it. They got away, and we had nothing to show for it. I watched a mother weep for her beloved, my people demoralized and our swords lowered in defeat.  Until she came.

Our Stellus.

A product of years of our city's most trusted Faith - the very thing that we draw our strength from. Not blind savagery, or technological advancement. Just Faith. We came together in that moment with tears in our eyes, and we brought his body back to our sanctum, where we used the highest of powers to bring him back. A process that we were certain would be in exchange of our Stellus' life. As it proceeded, we all watched with our own very eyes until..

We just couldn't any longer.

It was there that I watched them all act - the people, our Magi. They wept tears for one of our own. Cried out to the heavens to not take him on that day. Their howls rung throughout our hallowed walls louder than it ever has before as everyone of out citizens poured in to bear witness to what would be a miracle. I was awestruck. Amazed. I could feel it all.

The utter resplendence of the very light of our gods beaming down and looking upon their people. It was in that moment that the stars and the heavens looked down upon us in unison, as Eternia's heart itself throbbed at our willful beckon. Everything was clear before us, everything that was in motion was something we could feel beating. The very universe, the lessons we were taught, how everything operates, and how they are looking at us and each noble action we took. We gave everything we had, and it was answered. A dead man had been brought back to life through our combined efforts.

I'm proud that I was born here.

I'm a sick man, but I am not a dead man. I feel as though when I walk into battle now, righteous fury to temper my blade, I do it not as a mere soldier, but as a man who sees this city as his family. The doubts are gone. They've given me all the reason I ever needed.

Nothing, not even death itself scares me anymore.

[Ocean Side]

What first drew us together was the death that loomed behind me. Much like a viper or a buzzard, he was drawn to it. Then, we became friends. Brothers, even.

The day I killed him was the day I severed the chains of fate. I broke free from the shackles that I had once resigned myself to, for I had chosen to live.

He could not stand that. 

It was meant to come to this.

I will spend the coming days in solitude, in which I will neither dine nor speak so long as I know in my heart of hearts that I can endure. I will pray to my stars. I will pray to my gods. I will hold my Faith closer to me than I ever have before.

Lord, let the blood that now sullies my hands be a reminder to myself where I stand in this world. May my weeping be transient, and my will to continue this battle thrive. Let not regret burden my mind, but to solidify the firmness of my ideals, my resolve. I will not die, not yet. The day is still too young, the aurora you evince still so true.

I will sin again, at least one more time.

...

..



"Maybe in ten thousand years, you'll stand a chance."
"Yeah? We'll see. I won't be weak forever."


「 See you around.」

[Ocean Side]

I come to these fields every now and again to admire, especially on summers.

Your golden radiance blossoms during the midday. Did you know that you can also be used in medicine? The seed and sprout you have possess many nutrients such as flavonoids and vitamins. Even the antioxidants can be protective against forms of cellular damage.
...

Perhaps one day, I will be able to admire you without the friction of war close by, however transient it may be.

Perhaps one day, I will be able to be on good terms with the people I once called friends.

Perhaps one day, I will be able to right the wrongs that I have committed.
...

Ah, they're calling me again. I wish I wasn't so busy.


Until tomorrow.