A Muse, A Blade, An Endurer

[Sun_Wukong]

Lots of images originally plagued my mind of untold 'reality',

Every road has a bump that can steer a carriage off course.

It foretold consequences.

While some are made apparent and passed, there are some that culminated ends that I wished to not be forced to dream of.

Meticulous, I was.

Cause those illusions feel almost real.

Forced to observe everything spiraling to chaos as enlighten it could be.

There was that feeling of betrayal, anger, confusion, and destructive.

Each dream I was in during it feels heavier
Before I was in a verge of something

I woke up once again.

Yeah, I don't think I was fine.

It comes occasionally, unexpected and it all because that mark that was left in my eyes.

Every trance of that, I had to recollect myself.

Remember that what I am.

It was a horrible nightmare, it was only just that.

And nothing more.

But sometimes, even I questioned.

"Who is that man?

He certainly has the eyes of whom seen their demise or misfortune plentiful of times.

That is the stare.

Despite it all, it's still me I concluded."

Often at times, I look towards people I familiarize myself with and decided to take part of my life.

I didn't quite had much seats on who comes to that circle, however they brought their own and waste their valuable time on me.

It's still strange to this day.

However, it makes one thought hovering over my mind.

"Would you had given up if these people weren't there?"

My memories flashed to the one whose eyes stared with the loss of brightness, to the one who called me brother.

It dawned on me.

How closely similar we are, like we're two sides of the same coin.

The way he spoke to me, the way expression fled his body.

He was lost to the madness the world had to offer.

Had I failed him?

Had I not seen the signs to let a friend know that I was right here?

I could've saved him.

I was too late.

"Two sides of the same coin- we were both tortured by Hel that we lived in. The only difference was I continued moving forward, he steered himself to the path I nearly took. We tread different roads. I am no longer vengeful and uncaring."

Someday, I'll probably meet him again.

Perhaps with a different mindset than other times.

The question is how will it go another time?

...

...

...

It was fortunate enough that I have friends to stand by with,
Ones that go so far to call me family.
Even if I still feel alone, they remind me that I'm not.
I wonder if it is what the late old man would've wanted me to have again.

Guess it is what makes enduring all the more worth it.

Doesn't it?

But for now, I've been nagged at too many times to sleep and since that sickening curse dissolved finally I can catch up at it.

It made me realize just how tired truly I was.