Emotional Responses

[Observing Future]

I wish I had the energy to make my own fun.

I have found that I work best when people point me in a direction.

Give me a goal to aspire to. Something preferably oriented towards violence.

I do this for The Boss. Coins mostly, and of course the other project.

However, three of my targets never travel.

That or they never travel alone. How am I to procure what is needed if they are all grouped up?

How am I to get revenge on one if I can never find them at the right moment...

It is a bothersome thing. This newfound freedom, and newfound emotional responses.

Reactions. This. Or that. Sometimes I wonder if it was better when I just did not feel.

I thought. I came to a logical conclusion. I acted on obligation or said conclusion.

Now? Now I feel more than I think. I study things, but..

In reality I attack them for their potential wealth, or to see if their Core suits me.

A couple thousand coins here and there. A core to inspect every so often. Perhaps cultivate and grow.

None of them are attuned to crystals or lightning and wind. And even then.

I think I'd befriend them first.

To make it hurt all the more, when I ripped it from their chest.

To see how it'd feel to make a creature that liked me...

Cry.

. . . .

Today I realized that there is someone else who feels more than they think.

But they choose to hide it within themselves. For self control.

Understandable.

I wish to know them more.

I feel an itch to crush that restraint.

And watch them become wretched and monstrous.

Maybe I can still make my own 'fun'.

Or maybe I can make like a mortal.

And make a mistake.