Emotional Responses - Printable Version +- Chronicles of Eternia (https://chronicles-of-eternia.com/forum) +-- Forum: In-Game (https://chronicles-of-eternia.com/forum/forum-9.html) +--- Forum: Biographies (https://chronicles-of-eternia.com/forum/forum-12.html) +--- Thread: Emotional Responses (/thread-17438.html)

Emotional Responses - Observing Future - 03-05-2024 Did I ever care for her? I find myself asking that question more and more often as of late. Ever since I have been freed and fixed. I remember meeting her within Gloomlight. She was unhinged, insane. Fun. Funny. I remember the only other interaction we had. Brief, I was given materials for the holding of a hand. And the uttering of three words. Words that held no meaning to me. At the time, they held no meaning. They still do not. I barely knew her. ...And yet... I miss her. I miss the way I was spoiled. Treated as special. Treated as important. By a psychotic individual who was destined for death. Whom likely did not care about me. I remember penning her a letter requesting materials. More free things were nice. I received no response. But I sent another letter anyway. With a silly song-rune attached. And a photograph. An illogical and emotional decision.  I am uncertain of what my goal was. I did not send it to gain anything further. The Boss helped me achieve my goal after all. It was like, in that moment, a piece of the Real Me bled through. The me that the Rat helped free, by gnawing through the wires. I wanted someone that made me happy, in a brief moment. To be happy too. I think I shall hurt the one that took her from me. Before I got to really know her. I think it may be fun. I think I shall seek to burn the tower down. Until all that is left is ash. It could be amusing. I have plenty of time to do so. After all. I am Eternal. I am Superior. And I will get what I desire. RE: Emotional Responses - Observing Future - 03-08-2024 I wish I had the energy to make my own fun. I have found that I work best when people point me in a direction. Give me a goal to aspire to. Something preferably oriented towards violence. I do this for The Boss. Coins mostly, and of course the other project. However, three of my targets never travel. That or they never travel alone. How am I to procure what is needed if they are all grouped up? How am I to get revenge on one if I can never find them at the right moment... It is a bothersome thing. This newfound freedom, and newfound emotional responses. Reactions. This. Or that. Sometimes I wonder if it was better when I just did not feel. I thought. I came to a logical conclusion. I acted on obligation or said conclusion. Now? Now I feel more than I think. I study things, but.. In reality I attack them for their potential wealth, or to see if their Core suits me. A couple thousand coins here and there. A core to inspect every so often. Perhaps cultivate and grow. None of them are attuned to crystals or lightning and wind. And even then. I think I'd befriend them first. To make it hurt all the more, when I ripped it from their chest. To see how it'd feel to make a creature that liked me... Cry. . . . . Today I realized that there is someone else who feels more than they think. But they choose to hide it within themselves. For self control. Understandable. I wish to know them more. I feel an itch to crush that restraint. And watch them become wretched and monstrous. Maybe I can still make my own 'fun'. Or maybe I can make like a mortal. And make a mistake.  RE: Emotional Responses - Observing Future - 03-11-2024 There is something innately delightful.. About a job well done. Especially a job, that I am good at. There is something exciting, to know about how mad people can get. Woof woof. Bark bark. Goes the stupid little doggy. I think the past few days have been the most FUN I've ever had. With my precious little death-bird. And the pockets of others. It feels. GOOD. I wonder if this is how Friend felt. In the heat of the moment. Uncaring of being torn apart, ripped to shreds. Hurt. Hel. I want to be hurt. I want to HURT them. It's such an ecstatic feeling. To harm beyond the physical. To cause rage or sorrow that does not always involve.. Ripping someone to shreds. I believe I have come to a sound conclusion, however. I am defective. I am broken. I should return HOME. To fix MYSELF. Before it SPREADS. OR GETS. WORSE. :) :) :) But than. I think. I see. And I decide. That I'll simply continue doing this. For now. Since I enjoy it, quite a lot.