I Want To...

[Ohverride]

THIS ENTRY IS DATED EARLIER - DURING A TIME OF ABSENCE

Be... Strong.
Journal, I'm tired of being weak.
This entry is because I can't go outside, because my body hurts.
It ruined my circuits. It hurts a little to use magic.
Even if it was treated.
This symbol on me, even if it was treatment...
It just symbolizes
my failure.
-
I keep wanting to make the stone, but I don't know when.
I think I want to be a star for power, too.
Power to stop the world from being so unfair.
It's not fair.
At least, at the least, I was able to confess to someone
and make another fall for me. Maybe.
Feelings I think, they are the most confusing thing of them all.
So confusing, that I don't know what to draw today.
Then again, I don't think I can. My chest still hurts and aches.
Hard to determine which pain is the real one...
-
When I stared at the river water, it was so sparkly and pretty.
The words sounded so beautiful.
The power to choose. The ability to learn to be sad.
My head throbs with pain a lot, I'm not sure what it is.
Solari, Biblos, why are you so quiet? I want to hear you, but I don't have the strength.
It's just not fair at all, is it?
-
My last name is made up.
My home is a tent.
My front porch and yard is the dirt, grass and trees of the wild.
My skin is an ugly green.
My hair is a blinding white.
But my eyes are so golden, like the riches of a hoard.
Holy, but full of holes.
Happy, but full of conflict.
Am I sad or confused?
-

I tried sad poetry, like the book Sunkiller.
Do you like it? It won't ever be made into a book, though.
Things are so confusing, journal.
Who do I love? What do I love? Do I love people, or the mystery of them?
Can I be loved, even?
I don't even remember why I started.
I miss having a family.
Dal'thala is nice, but I miss having people I could lay my head on and just sleep.
-
Thanks, Journal.
I've never felt so lost.
No drawing today. Arm is starting to hurt again. I'll give it another couple of months.
Until next time...