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I Want To... - Ohverride - 01-24-2024
To be a star!
I WANT IT!
Sorry Journal, I don't mean to yell.
-
They say if you want something, you can wish it into existence.
Is it selfish to want to be something so pretty? It makes people so happy!
I will make people so happy!
I want to be something that people will look to and smile!
But I'll stay on the ground, so I'm never out of reach.
-
Some days, when I open my mouth, it feels like so many things will come out of it!
Stardust, emotions... So many emotions.
One day, I'll lead the house of emotion! It'll be great! I'll be so happy, and I'll be so emotionally-tuned!
But I don't know enough yet.
I hope Biblos will be proud of me.
-
My first teacher tells me that the sun, that super cool ball in the sky, is disconnected from the other stars.
Why? That's not fair. It's so warm and nice, but it's so alone.
I hope I don't end up that way. I'll be the sun's first friend!
I'll give it a name, too.
How's Solari sound, journal? It's sort of like Solais, but 'Sol' is part of my clan name, so I wanted to stick to it!
Maybe it'll tell me so.
-
Sorry journal, there's a lot today. I got a LOT done, I finished a LOT!
I think only Mitsuki said he's officially my friend, but there's a lot of people, so maybe they're my friends and I just don't know it!
Anyways, goodnight journal! Even when I close your cover, the sun's still there...
So I'm always there!
I WANT IT!
Sorry Journal, I don't mean to yell.
-
They say if you want something, you can wish it into existence.
Is it selfish to want to be something so pretty? It makes people so happy!
I will make people so happy!
I want to be something that people will look to and smile!
But I'll stay on the ground, so I'm never out of reach.
-
Some days, when I open my mouth, it feels like so many things will come out of it!
Stardust, emotions... So many emotions.
One day, I'll lead the house of emotion! It'll be great! I'll be so happy, and I'll be so emotionally-tuned!
But I don't know enough yet.
I hope Biblos will be proud of me.
-
My first teacher tells me that the sun, that super cool ball in the sky, is disconnected from the other stars.
Why? That's not fair. It's so warm and nice, but it's so alone.
I hope I don't end up that way. I'll be the sun's first friend!
I'll give it a name, too.
How's Solari sound, journal? It's sort of like Solais, but 'Sol' is part of my clan name, so I wanted to stick to it!
Maybe it'll tell me so.
-
Sorry journal, there's a lot today. I got a LOT done, I finished a LOT!
I think only Mitsuki said he's officially my friend, but there's a lot of people, so maybe they're my friends and I just don't know it!
Anyways, goodnight journal! Even when I close your cover, the sun's still there...
So I'm always there!
I even drew a nice picture for you, you can look at it while your cover's closed!
Goodnight, journal!
![[Image: best_friends_1.png?ex=65c2f332&is=65b07e...height=536]](https://media.discordapp.net/attachments/671205801645572126/1199550218962743326/best_friends_1.png?ex=65c2f332&is=65b07e32&hm=be6f6e8cc10edb8a4a881c65924804afe1fc3fb61aff9d4450ef759dee5b4b6d&=&format=webp&quality=lossless&width=874&height=536)
I Want To... - Ohverride - 01-29-2024
Learn holy magic!
Holy freaking holy journal, I'm starting to learn something new!
Still haven't started on my keystone...
I'll have to ask Loramelon!
-
Teacher the first Proteus seemed busy...
So I asked someone else!
Her name is Sunsets over Moonlight, Journal
It's a pretty name and I think it's PRETTY easy to remember
Even better, I can make a gold orb now! Pretty easy!
She seemed happy the first time I did it, so I drew it!
-
I also have been making tons of friends, lots of friends...
So many friends, I just had to draw them all!
So I drew all my friends! I know it's not good, but my art is not so good
neither is my writing, I don't know
still! I'm doing totally fine!
-
I've been cheering up lots of people, though
I like that, being able to talk to people and be nice to them
But there's still people who do kinda messed up things...
Even if I am nice to them!
I've been training just in case some of these people try to hurt me, but
I dunno, I don't know! I don't wanna hurt people!
I guess I don't want to die, though...
I'm also training because I went to a tournament and got totally washed up!
It felt so bad. I wanted to cry a little.
But I didn't. I am a big boy.
-
Anyways Journal, you got some more drawings to look at! Nighty nighty Journal!
Holy freaking holy journal, I'm starting to learn something new!
Still haven't started on my keystone...
I'll have to ask Loramelon!
-
Teacher the first Proteus seemed busy...
So I asked someone else!
Her name is Sunsets over Moonlight, Journal
It's a pretty name and I think it's PRETTY easy to remember
Even better, I can make a gold orb now! Pretty easy!
She seemed happy the first time I did it, so I drew it!
-
I also have been making tons of friends, lots of friends...
So many friends, I just had to draw them all!
So I drew all my friends! I know it's not good, but my art is not so good
neither is my writing, I don't know
still! I'm doing totally fine!
-
I've been cheering up lots of people, though
I like that, being able to talk to people and be nice to them
But there's still people who do kinda messed up things...
Even if I am nice to them!
I've been training just in case some of these people try to hurt me, but
I dunno, I don't know! I don't wanna hurt people!
I guess I don't want to die, though...
I'm also training because I went to a tournament and got totally washed up!
It felt so bad. I wanted to cry a little.
But I didn't. I am a big boy.
-
Anyways Journal, you got some more drawings to look at! Nighty nighty Journal!
P.S. I FORGOT TO TELL YOU I GOT A YELLOW PENCIL!!! I DONT HAVE BLUE YET BUT I WILL!
![[Image: I_want_to...2.png?ex=65c97dc1&is=65b708c...eeeab1203&]](https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/1045261232560689193/1201348260074369226/I_want_to...2.png?ex=65c97dc1&is=65b708c1&hm=5d6e8c7f48c3e4fd73d84c5ef8d005a76a0729fe2db3309aa59c8dbeeeab1203&)
I Want To... - Ohverride - 02-12-2024
THIS ENTRY IS DATED EARLIER - DURING A TIME OF ABSENCE
Be... Strong.
Journal, I'm tired of being weak.
This entry is because I can't go outside, because my body hurts.
It ruined my circuits. It hurts a little to use magic.
Even if it was treated.
This symbol on me, even if it was treatment...
It just symbolizes
my failure.
-
I keep wanting to make the stone, but I don't know when.
I think I want to be a star for power, too.
Power to stop the world from being so unfair.
It's not fair.
At least, at the least, I was able to confess to someone
and make another fall for me. Maybe.
Feelings I think, they are the most confusing thing of them all.
So confusing, that I don't know what to draw today.
Then again, I don't think I can. My chest still hurts and aches.
Hard to determine which pain is the real one...
-
When I stared at the river water, it was so sparkly and pretty.
The words sounded so beautiful.
The power to choose. The ability to learn to be sad.
My head throbs with pain a lot, I'm not sure what it is.
Solari, Biblos, why are you so quiet? I want to hear you, but I don't have the strength.
It's just not fair at all, is it?
-
My last name is made up.
My home is a tent.
My front porch and yard is the dirt, grass and trees of the wild.
My skin is an ugly green.
My hair is a blinding white.
But my eyes are so golden, like the riches of a hoard.
Holy, but full of holes.
Happy, but full of conflict.
Am I sad or confused?
-
Be... Strong.
Journal, I'm tired of being weak.
This entry is because I can't go outside, because my body hurts.
It ruined my circuits. It hurts a little to use magic.
Even if it was treated.
This symbol on me, even if it was treatment...
It just symbolizes
my failure.
-
I keep wanting to make the stone, but I don't know when.
I think I want to be a star for power, too.
Power to stop the world from being so unfair.
It's not fair.
At least, at the least, I was able to confess to someone
and make another fall for me. Maybe.
Feelings I think, they are the most confusing thing of them all.
So confusing, that I don't know what to draw today.
Then again, I don't think I can. My chest still hurts and aches.
Hard to determine which pain is the real one...
-
When I stared at the river water, it was so sparkly and pretty.
The words sounded so beautiful.
The power to choose. The ability to learn to be sad.
My head throbs with pain a lot, I'm not sure what it is.
Solari, Biblos, why are you so quiet? I want to hear you, but I don't have the strength.
It's just not fair at all, is it?
-
My last name is made up.
My home is a tent.
My front porch and yard is the dirt, grass and trees of the wild.
My skin is an ugly green.
My hair is a blinding white.
But my eyes are so golden, like the riches of a hoard.
Holy, but full of holes.
Happy, but full of conflict.
Am I sad or confused?
-
I tried sad poetry, like the book Sunkiller.
Do you like it? It won't ever be made into a book, though.
Things are so confusing, journal.
Who do I love? What do I love? Do I love people, or the mystery of them?
Can I be loved, even?
I don't even remember why I started.
I miss having a family.
Dal'thala is nice, but I miss having people I could lay my head on and just sleep.
-
Thanks, Journal.
I've never felt so lost.
No drawing today. Arm is starting to hurt again. I'll give it another couple of months.
Until next time...
Do you like it? It won't ever be made into a book, though.
Things are so confusing, journal.
Who do I love? What do I love? Do I love people, or the mystery of them?
Can I be loved, even?
I don't even remember why I started.
I miss having a family.
Dal'thala is nice, but I miss having people I could lay my head on and just sleep.
-
Thanks, Journal.
I've never felt so lost.
No drawing today. Arm is starting to hurt again. I'll give it another couple of months.
Until next time...
I Want To... - Ohverride - 02-24-2024
To have someone fall in love with me.
Not only that, but know me.
It seems somehow, I can't have both - it's not fair, journal.
I look down at my hands, and the spaces between my fingers feel...
Like someone else's should be there, too.
It's a beautiful emotion, isn't it?
Maybe I should give up trying to find such a strong emotion for myself.
I am wealthy on the inside, after all...
Don't get greedy, Kakku.
-
My body's getting worse, somehow.
I don't know who I'd tell, or how I'd tell them.
It's like a part of me - a part of my magic is
not mine?
As if in fights, I'm being piloted on occasion.
I think there's something else in there, but
I can't tell anyone. It'll go away.
I think there's somehow too much light in my soul.
I need something comfortable and dark once in a while
before I blind myself or something.
I drew what I thought I might look like in some years of this being unchecked.
I can't imagine it would feel good.
I can't find white. I'll just use chalk.
I've gotten a lot better, at least...
-
I don't think I could ever choose how to feel.
Nowadays I am starting to just feel.
So, so strongly.
I have to keep it in, though.
Release it when nobody is around.
But never hate, I could never hate anyone, even if I say so.
No, that's not hate.
That's fury in there.
But it's not the end of the world.
Things ALWAYS get better, even if I can't help how I feel.
-
Sorry about that last one, journal.
There's something strange that happened to me somewhere down the line.
I think, once in someone's life, they have to be held
and I missed the boat?
I don't know, my brain is like a searing, golden comet.
Gold. So much gold. That's probably what my star will look like.
North-pointing compass, a full heart, corundum horns.
Biblos, if you can hear me, I sure hope you're excited to meet me.
I don't want to disappoint you.
I don't want to disappoint anyone.
I need to keep myself together. One day, someone will help me do it, too.
Everyone finds that person who knows their pieces well enough.
-
Despite this, I'm happy that I'm alive.
I'm happy that I have friends.
And yet, sometimes it feels like I'm missing something...
-
If I were to pluck on your heart strings, would you strum on mine?
![[Image: love_me.png?ex=65ebeae1&is=65d975e1&hm=8...y=lossless]](https://media.discordapp.net/attachments/671205801645572126/1210811281355833384/love_me.png?ex=65ebeae1&is=65d975e1&hm=8d92986ef82733a1c6c1d6eabc5418c0e139c6f0e9a2c624a169c197ad5283e3&=&format=webp&quality=lossless)
ow.
Not only that, but know me.
It seems somehow, I can't have both - it's not fair, journal.
I look down at my hands, and the spaces between my fingers feel...
Like someone else's should be there, too.
It's a beautiful emotion, isn't it?
Maybe I should give up trying to find such a strong emotion for myself.
I am wealthy on the inside, after all...
Don't get greedy, Kakku.
-
My body's getting worse, somehow.
I don't know who I'd tell, or how I'd tell them.
It's like a part of me - a part of my magic is
not mine?
As if in fights, I'm being piloted on occasion.
I think there's something else in there, but
I can't tell anyone. It'll go away.
I think there's somehow too much light in my soul.
I need something comfortable and dark once in a while
before I blind myself or something.
I drew what I thought I might look like in some years of this being unchecked.
I can't imagine it would feel good.
I can't find white. I'll just use chalk.
I've gotten a lot better, at least...
-
I don't think I could ever choose how to feel.
Nowadays I am starting to just feel.
So, so strongly.
I have to keep it in, though.
Release it when nobody is around.
But never hate, I could never hate anyone, even if I say so.
No, that's not hate.
That's fury in there.
But it's not the end of the world.
Things ALWAYS get better, even if I can't help how I feel.
-
Sorry about that last one, journal.
There's something strange that happened to me somewhere down the line.
I think, once in someone's life, they have to be held
and I missed the boat?
I don't know, my brain is like a searing, golden comet.
Gold. So much gold. That's probably what my star will look like.
North-pointing compass, a full heart, corundum horns.
Biblos, if you can hear me, I sure hope you're excited to meet me.
I don't want to disappoint you.
I don't want to disappoint anyone.
I need to keep myself together. One day, someone will help me do it, too.
Everyone finds that person who knows their pieces well enough.
-
Despite this, I'm happy that I'm alive.
I'm happy that I have friends.
And yet, sometimes it feels like I'm missing something...
-
If I were to pluck on your heart strings, would you strum on mine?
ow.
I Want To... - Ohverride - 03-09-2024
Collapse.
When I saw her die, it was instant.
I was so happy to talk to her again.
For a moment, it felt like I was fixing my doubts.
It was wonderful to see her happy, to see them happy.
Sometimes I sat alone and regretted bringing them together.
Like it would fix things.
And make me happier.
Now, I realize I'm just happy that they were happy at all.
The hollow one, who seldom smiled ever genuinely.
The sad one, whose gloomy exterior hid a warm heart.
-
When she died, nobody looked my way.
No matter how hard I screamed.
They didn't even frantically scramble for her.
Falke felt the way I did.
Not the same way.
In my heart, I felt a fire, a raging inferno.
For once, I want to kill something.
I want to feel it's ichor splash over me in a reverie.
But for her, I think I saw a fire die, instead.
It's not fair.
And nobody even looked at me.
Or even said my name.
When I saw her die, it was instant.
I was so happy to talk to her again.
For a moment, it felt like I was fixing my doubts.
It was wonderful to see her happy, to see them happy.
Sometimes I sat alone and regretted bringing them together.
Like it would fix things.
And make me happier.
Now, I realize I'm just happy that they were happy at all.
The hollow one, who seldom smiled ever genuinely.
The sad one, whose gloomy exterior hid a warm heart.
-
When she died, nobody looked my way.
No matter how hard I screamed.
They didn't even frantically scramble for her.
Falke felt the way I did.
Not the same way.
In my heart, I felt a fire, a raging inferno.
For once, I want to kill something.
I want to feel it's ichor splash over me in a reverie.
But for her, I think I saw a fire die, instead.
It's not fair.
And nobody even looked at me.
Or even said my name.
Do people think that I didn't even deserve...
Just the slightest care in the world?
-
Zico, I hope you can read this in my journal.
I never stopped thinking about you in... That way.
You probably knew. You knew, I'm sure.
But...
I'm glad that you at least died feeling something that cruel people denied you.
I hope you kissed, hugged, cried in someone's arms...
Pain wracks my body.
It's a pain I was never prepared for.
I.
Hate.
The unkind creatures of this world.
When I get the chance?
I won't give them a single shot.
-
Falke. You will never see this.
But I will come back for you.
Not only is it what Zico would want.
No, Estelmaroon was her real name - she did tell me once.
I never called her that, because she didn't want me to.
But I want to save you from the hollow-ness.
And...
-
I am going to kill anything that emerges from that damned Tower.
-
Zico, I hope you can read this in my journal.
I never stopped thinking about you in... That way.
You probably knew. You knew, I'm sure.
But...
I'm glad that you at least died feeling something that cruel people denied you.
I hope you kissed, hugged, cried in someone's arms...
Pain wracks my body.
It's a pain I was never prepared for.
I.
Hate.
The unkind creatures of this world.
When I get the chance?
I won't give them a single shot.
-
Falke. You will never see this.
But I will come back for you.
Not only is it what Zico would want.
No, Estelmaroon was her real name - she did tell me once.
I never called her that, because she didn't want me to.
But I want to save you from the hollow-ness.
And...
-
I am going to kill anything that emerges from that damned Tower.
RE: I Want To... - Ohverride - 03-22-2024
Understand.
Love. Hate. Love. Hate.
Hate hate hate.
Love love love.
Everyone hates each other.
Everyone loves each other.
Bartholomew loathes. Catildre loathes.
When does it even stop?
Remove one and another hates you.
It all gets lost in the din.
-
Journal, I think you love me more than most.
I am Kakku. I am the flecks of starlight.
The empty heart.
I am in love with brick walls that my love bounces off of.
I hate things that I'll never ever see.
I am the cursed and I am blessed.
I am so alone.
-
I hate what I am. Nobody hates me more than I do.
There's nobody who knows me well enough to hate me.
I fall just short of any direction to mean anything.
But I keep having the same dream.
A figure staring down at me.
Backed by a black sky
Looking down at me.
I've become so lazy, haven't I? Not enough work...
Not enough strength...
-
I'm tired of not mattering.
Libertato. Bartholomew. King Camino.
Catildre. The Tower. Even Nera.
You all made something yourselves.
Ivory. Damned. Towers.
I am tired of being so close to the ground when I just want to touch the stars.
Adrian.
Don't make me take an impossible task on.
I love you.
What will it take?
-
I keep having the same dream...
...
Gods, a bit of bliss.
It ought to last a lifetime.
Love. Hate. Love. Hate.
Hate hate hate.
Love love love.
Everyone hates each other.
Everyone loves each other.
Bartholomew loathes. Catildre loathes.
When does it even stop?
Remove one and another hates you.
It all gets lost in the din.
-
Journal, I think you love me more than most.
I am Kakku. I am the flecks of starlight.
The empty heart.
I am in love with brick walls that my love bounces off of.
I hate things that I'll never ever see.
I am the cursed and I am blessed.
I am so alone.
-
I hate what I am. Nobody hates me more than I do.
There's nobody who knows me well enough to hate me.
I fall just short of any direction to mean anything.
But I keep having the same dream.
A figure staring down at me.
Backed by a black sky
Looking down at me.
I've become so lazy, haven't I? Not enough work...
Not enough strength...
-
I'm tired of not mattering.
Libertato. Bartholomew. King Camino.
Catildre. The Tower. Even Nera.
You all made something yourselves.
Ivory. Damned. Towers.
I am tired of being so close to the ground when I just want to touch the stars.
Adrian.
Don't make me take an impossible task on.
I love you.
What will it take?
-
I keep having the same dream...
...
Gods, a bit of bliss.
It ought to last a lifetime.
I Want To...?! - Ohverride - 04-11-2024
Journal, something is wrong. WITH ME.
As I sat there thinking of my projects, as I sat there thinking...
There was a spark to work.
Maybe I could, perhaps, get Loramelon, the King or Talguth to start some work.
Or even Sunsets to start capping off my work with the forge.
It was just on a whim, travelling with the Arcadians.
Then...
SHE appeared.
-
It's odd, in some weird, disgusting manner she made me feel wanted.
Obsession is such a sickly sweet emotion that I want to capture, have someone feel it towards me.
She stabbed me, yet when her hand touched mine, my heart skipped.
It's a stupid, ugly, ridiculous thing.
Romance without love, she claims.
I will try to think nothing of it, but it does annoy me how oddly my heart felt tugged.
I would never destroy at someone's behest.
Not even the King's, I'd only ever hurt to save.
Destroy...
I don't even think myself capable.
-
Oh well.
It was just so weird, journal.
Two parts of me, one hopes to see her again, one doesn't.
I think I only want to see her so I know how this will all play out.
I think I'll yield just a little bit.
Journal, let it be known...
Scarlet Haze will be my dance partner in Atrellya.
Until one of us gets tired enough to carry the other home.
May the best dancer endure.
-
What the HEL is wrong with me?
Can't draw. Whispers are a little loud right now.
I don't think I need to make every star relic, just some.
It'll be enough.
Shoot, I bled on the paper. She hurt, sorry.
![[Image: blood-splatter-png-44472.png?ex=662abe0e...height=536]](https://media.discordapp.net/attachments/671205801645572126/1228080461331435560/blood-splatter-png-44472.png?ex=662abe0e&is=6618490e&hm=695d907970889f62a29fb923993d4b1b387c1faac21c990f360e045a9a78bc45&=&format=webp&quality=lossless&width=441&height=536)
As I sat there thinking of my projects, as I sat there thinking...
There was a spark to work.
Maybe I could, perhaps, get Loramelon, the King or Talguth to start some work.
Or even Sunsets to start capping off my work with the forge.
It was just on a whim, travelling with the Arcadians.
Then...
SHE appeared.
-
It's odd, in some weird, disgusting manner she made me feel wanted.
Obsession is such a sickly sweet emotion that I want to capture, have someone feel it towards me.
She stabbed me, yet when her hand touched mine, my heart skipped.
It's a stupid, ugly, ridiculous thing.
Romance without love, she claims.
I will try to think nothing of it, but it does annoy me how oddly my heart felt tugged.
I would never destroy at someone's behest.
Not even the King's, I'd only ever hurt to save.
Destroy...
I don't even think myself capable.
-
Oh well.
It was just so weird, journal.
Two parts of me, one hopes to see her again, one doesn't.
I think I only want to see her so I know how this will all play out.
I think I'll yield just a little bit.
Journal, let it be known...
Scarlet Haze will be my dance partner in Atrellya.
Until one of us gets tired enough to carry the other home.
May the best dancer endure.
-
What the HEL is wrong with me?
Can't draw. Whispers are a little loud right now.
I don't think I need to make every star relic, just some.
It'll be enough.
Shoot, I bled on the paper. She hurt, sorry.
What don't I want? - Ohverride - 04-19-2024
Everything feels so wonderful.
I'm sorry, journal.
The colors feel so bright and pretty.
I can feel it in my mind, in glorious high definition.
Every season fresh on my skin
Every word ever spoken.
Every ounce of starlight in the sky.
Every emotion under the sun...
Rage, joy, fear, sadness.
I feel so enthralled. Enlightened.
Who knew every emotion came from love?
The love of the self, the love of another, the love of the world you live.
I'm sorry, journal.
The colors feel so bright and pretty.
I can feel it in my mind, in glorious high definition.
Every season fresh on my skin
Every word ever spoken.
Every ounce of starlight in the sky.
Every emotion under the sun...
Rage, joy, fear, sadness.
I feel so enthralled. Enlightened.
Who knew every emotion came from love?
The love of the self, the love of another, the love of the world you live.
You can't excise your heart so easily without death.
-
I am loved beneath the stars.
-
I am loved beneath the stars.
Was I always?
It feels like I've been asleep all my life, even though, for the first time...
I am truly closer to being a star.
Yet, even this much closer, it feels astonishing.
I think everything is slow.
Life is slow.
Perhaps on the grand scale, life seems short.
Fast.
How much are you really spending your life living?
Have you lived at all?
Have I?
A bleeding heart, fingers interlaced, two pairs of lips, bated breath and waiting to meet...
The peak of life is slowness.
Any fast feeling is torture.
Fast to anger, fast to sob, fast to turn to violence.
Barely a blink of a thing.
-
If I poured out every feeling I felt for people, they may vomit.
I hope one day, I can open my mouth and let it pour over them like an ocean of stars.
Some may think I've fallen in love with them.
Not entirely untrue.
Some may think I'm crazy.
Not entirely untrue.
A crooked smile, a piano playing, a wife and husband meeting...
Every moment sticking with me.
I'm like a big ball of gum.
One day I will find someone...
Where I will reach my hand out...
They will grab my wrist...
Pull me down with them...
And give me an embrace so pleasant, their lips so soft, their eyes...
...
So deep that I empty my contents for even just a moment.
-
This seemed a lot better in my head.
When I look in the mirror, it's a blinding blue light.
Ohhh, ohhh...
Biblos.
You have yet to disappoint me.
As soon as we connect, the blade of emotion will be wrenched from my chest.
A weapon so powerful, it needs not to carve mountains or through armies.
But through the hearts and souls of every life that walks.
I Want To. - Ohverride - 05-17-2024
![[Image: VeJiQjk.jpeg]](https://i.imgur.com/VeJiQjk.jpeg)
Move Forwards.
I am. I can. I will.
Move forwards with my dreams. Not away from anyone.
The world's disgust bears upon me often.
Are you impressed?
-
I stand in front of people who don't need it.
Beg and plead with those who rank below me.
I cry to my enemies. Rip the ground to pieces.
So what?
I dare you.
Try to tell me what you find wrong with me.
A thousand times your jaw will fall slack.
Your own words don't make sense.
There are millions of people like yourselves.
Disgusted mobs. Would-be heroes.
False tear shedders. Yellow-bellied losers.
Liars.
What a paragon of love you claim to be.
-
I do not think any of them know what love is.
I do.
If you depend on your magic to tell you how to feel.
It wasn't real.
If you depend on a condition to tell you how to act.
You have no will of your own.
If the entirety of your being isn't located in your heart...
Do you even exist?
I could love you all a thousand times
And you'd spit in my FUC face.
-
I just hate how awful it all feels.
No fear.
You need it.
You're going to die.
No sadness.
You need it.
You NEED to cry.
No joy?
You are already dead.
No anger?
You must have lost your head.
This is my journal.
-
I'm going to keep writing. Someday someone will find it.
As I connect to Biblos more and more, I want to say.
There's more to love.
There's more to be mad at.
True hate doesn't exist as much as one thinks, and...
Almost all of you are wrong.
-
A kiss for me, please!
And you'd spit in my FUC face.
-
I just hate how awful it all feels.
No fear.
You need it.
You're going to die.
No sadness.
You need it.
You NEED to cry.
No joy?
You are already dead.
No anger?
You must have lost your head.
This is my journal.
-
I'm going to keep writing. Someday someone will find it.
As I connect to Biblos more and more, I want to say.
There's more to love.
There's more to be mad at.
True hate doesn't exist as much as one thinks, and...
Almost all of you are wrong.
-
A kiss for me, please!
I Want To... Make it fair... - Ohverride - 06-02-2024
IT'S NOT FAIR!
THE WORLD IS SO UNFAIR!
WHY!?
BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO PEOPLE I LIKE!
THINGS GO WELL FOR PEOPLE I DON'T LIKE.
But some good things happen to people I like.
Sometimes it just feels like...
Very few good things happen to me.
-
It simply isn't fair.
Sometimes I think I am pouring everything negative out onto these pages...
So that nobody else has to deal with them.
I am...
The Hateful Star.
The Loving Star.
The Joyful Star.
The Disgusted Star.
The Mournful Star.
The Raging Star.
The Awestruck Star.
The Innocent Star.
-
It isn't right to feel jealousy.
I guess it sometimes hurts to see people's lives go mountain peaks around me.
I sit here at the bottom and cheer them on from my little plateau.
I want a kiss.
My father almost died on that journey.
My mother almost died on that journey.
They don't know that they are, but they are to me.
When people are sleeping, I'm tossing and turning.
When people are dreaming, I'm crashing and burning.
But I guess it's an honorable thing to be
the martyr and carrier of the boulders of other people's dreams.
-
When I love someone, all I know is...
They become repelled from me.
When I try to get closer again...
They die.
The seed of hate is black and vile.
It will make a nice weapon one day.
A weapon so dubious, so powerful...
That one swing smashes the mountains.
Two swings split the oceans.
Three swings kill a million men.
And four swings will break a billion spirits.
I wonder...
Am I too old to keep dreaming of love anymore?
...
No, I don't like that thought, Journal.
I think when I get my horns, I'll look nice and young forever.
But even so...
I don't think people will see me that way.
Sigh...
BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO PEOPLE I LIKE!
THINGS GO WELL FOR PEOPLE I DON'T LIKE.
But some good things happen to people I like.
Sometimes it just feels like...
Very few good things happen to me.
-
It simply isn't fair.
Sometimes I think I am pouring everything negative out onto these pages...
So that nobody else has to deal with them.
I am...
The Hateful Star.
The Loving Star.
The Joyful Star.
The Disgusted Star.
The Mournful Star.
The Raging Star.
The Awestruck Star.
The Innocent Star.
-
It isn't right to feel jealousy.
I guess it sometimes hurts to see people's lives go mountain peaks around me.
I sit here at the bottom and cheer them on from my little plateau.
I want a kiss.
My father almost died on that journey.
My mother almost died on that journey.
They don't know that they are, but they are to me.
When people are sleeping, I'm tossing and turning.
When people are dreaming, I'm crashing and burning.
But I guess it's an honorable thing to be
the martyr and carrier of the boulders of other people's dreams.
-
When I love someone, all I know is...
They become repelled from me.
When I try to get closer again...
They die.
The seed of hate is black and vile.
It will make a nice weapon one day.
A weapon so dubious, so powerful...
That one swing smashes the mountains.
Two swings split the oceans.
Three swings kill a million men.
And four swings will break a billion spirits.
I wonder...
Am I too old to keep dreaming of love anymore?
...
No, I don't like that thought, Journal.
I think when I get my horns, I'll look nice and young forever.
But even so...
I don't think people will see me that way.
Sigh...
-
One day I'll paint a pretty picture again in here.