[magicschoolbusdropout]

I never complain.  Never once have I.
I aways accepted the fact that I was the black sheep of my family.
I always accepted its them over me.

I followed my heart he got killed. 
No one made sure I was okay but one person.
I cried myself to sleep more nights than I could count.

I found love again and all I do is worry.
No one still checks in on me.
No one even knows my little secret.

I followed my heart again and I am happy.
I've started my own little family.
Are you proud?

Why do these chains still feel like I am suffocating?
Do I have to follow underneath everyone still?
I am my own person arent I?
Did you know I craft or that I paint?

Am I worth  paying attention to? 
From where I stand.. the answer  is clear.
I am not.

[magicschoolbusdropout]

I am starting to Complain
All I show is love and compassion 
All I have ever done is work work work... but-

When will it be my turn?

I have given my whole life to the faith
To pleasing others
But-

When will it be my turn?

I see day by day people being blessed 
Their wings being brought upon them
Their strength that its given but-

When will it be my turn?

Has she not seen the work i supply for her
The endless nights 
The headaches 

When will it be my turn?





Does she not see how much this hurts? It feels like i am wrapped in never ending chains.

[magicschoolbusdropout]

---

Written in a book hidden somewhere in her house. Different entries looking some old and some newer with tear stains placing almost every page.

"At times, Life comes in blurs. I tend to be happy one day and sad the next. I act like things don't hurt me to be strong for those around me but...I think its time to start showing my emotions. I say I am an open book but am I truly? I hide how I feel on a daily bases to everyone...Even my family."

"I am trying...My emotions are slowly coming out but...its not good enough. I am angry at people who do not deserve it. I see that. What am I going to do?"

"In times where so many things are happening. All I want to do is create. Create something new! I want to leave behind something for our children."

"I keep giving and giving. It does not bug me much...But should I be giving so much of myself to others when I don't even give myself....myself?"

"If I die today, Its my fault. I understand my choices make me a target for some. I take full responsibility for my actions in those I have hurt."

"Its not much, My imagination at least. Though, My creativity sprouts more and more everyday. The strength I have to Pull to make sure they are okay creating a world they can be proud to live in."

"I am okay...My emotions are coming together nicely. I am able to control them more. I am there for others again no matter how tired I may get. I hope they see how much love I have for my town and for them."

A lot of emotions have come out. It was bound to happen sooner or later. Just wonder how it has truly changed the writer.