the hopeless

[Frozen Heart]

Have you ever been so alone...

...that no where you go feels like home?

There are many things taken for granted each day; happiness, family, shelter, and love, to name a few. I once had all of the above, and I was satisfied living in the illusion of hope, satisfied thinking that life was some sort of grandiose thing - that it was worth it to live. That was until I was betrayed by the ones I trusted the most.

A letter was received from Starfall Academy, it's wording that I wouldn't be accepted into the most prestigious school of Esshar; I wasn't good enough, not for them... and then my parents subsequently decided that I wasn't good enough to be their child. I was tossed out, with my name stripped away.

Deemed a failure, deemed irredeemable.

Have you ever been so alone...

...that you don't know what to feel anymore?

On my own, I looked for help. The ones I thought of as my friends turned their back on me, they wanted nothing to do with someone who disgraced their family. When I passed by, many things would be chucked at me: rocks, tomatoes, and the like. Everywhere I turned, all I'd see were mocking faces, backs turned to me, laughter, pointing... it hurt to be so excluded; so isolated, until I found it... the truth.


At the end of the day, there was only one thing that stuck with me through it all; my shadow. Darkness blanketed me, it hid me from all who sought to mock me, all who looked at me with disdain, it was my only friend.

I don't think I'll ever live again.

[Frozen Heart]

"I never thought that I'd meet anyone who actually cared for me... I never thought I'd meet anyone who'd listen to my troubles. I never thought that I'd meet anyone like you."

"I'm sorry." His response comes instantly. "I can't imagine what going through any of that must have been like." Once more, he'd find himself rising to his feet, as a hand would be carefully rested on his friend's shoulder. "But, worry not. You're no longer alone."

"Hey...

What if... what if I happened to be one of those monsters that you seek to hunt?"

"I don't know." He eventually spits out. "I don't think I'd try to hunt you. I'd..." What would he do. "Try to save you. What that entails I couldn't tell you, but-"

He frowns even thinking about it.

"I'm just glad I won't have to worry about that."

"I've lied about so much.

I'm not who you think I am - I'm tired of pretending to be someone I'm not. It's painful."

"I just want to be myself for once.

I'm sorry... this is goodbye, friend."

[Frozen Heart]

drizzling. the sound of raindrops colliding with the ground block out all else; it's dark yet one color seeps through.

red.

as his body laid there, i walked off with a sense of fulfillment. no longer would i be restrained by these things known as 'feelings' nor 'emotions.'

finally, i am free. but this is only the beginning. there's more to come. there is however one thought which permeates all else,

'if only you had listened.'