Desire and Restraint

[Starlitee]

I wasn't the happiest when I was little.
Yet how was I supposed to feel?
How was I supposed to understand?
  

"You can never share your name Rhiannon, not with anyone.
Don't tell anyone who your parents are.
It's too dangerous.
You have to keep it a secret from everyone, okay?"

  

I wasn't able to comprehend what they meant,

what could be so bad about something as simple as my name?

What was so bad about simply being..

Rhiannon pyr Docro.

"It's to keep you safe.

I love you."

I was left on the mountain that would come to be my home,

but that was a decision that was long coming.

Given to a Dragonlord and the Lightbearer of Osrona to raise, to nurture.

They gave me love, and for a long time I only rewarded them with anger.

Yet as I grew, it was they who held the greatest power in shaping who I would become.

The ideals of the Fireblooded became my own.

The Desire in my blood tempered by the Restraint of my upbringing.

I began to accept my adopted family as if they had been my own blood all along.

Even when all of my siblings began their grand displays of magical potential where I could produce nothing..

It mattered not to them, but I refused to let that make me fall behind.

I grew every day, I made it my mission.

I learned, I fought, I did all I could to prove to everyone that I was someone.

To prove that I was worth keeping.

As I became older I began to see and hear what my family had done, was doing.

I remember looking at my hands and wondering if there was nothing but poison in my veins.

If I was just a bomb ticking away before I too would commit those atrocities.

Before I would become a monster.

I have never decided if I'm just crazy, or if it's true.. but there's a curse in my blood.

To always Desire those things that lay beyond my reach, to pursue the impossible.

Where some may describe it as mere ambition, I know better.

It's a gaping abyss that can never be satisfied.

A waiting beast that can never be fed, lest it consume who I've become.

I'm grateful now, that I was given to whom I was,

that I could learn from my dad what it means to display the virtue that is Restraint.

Rhiannon pyr Docro had never been allowed to exist,

yet by imagination or not.. she is there. The 'fictional' ghost that haunts my every breath.

Now it's no longer a secret at least. People know me, they know where I come from.

They know Rhiannon Pelleaux.

The Dragon that overcomes all obstacles placed in her path..

But where do the lines blur?