an eternity ahead

[Seraphite]

in my first life,

i was loved, and i loved in kind and equal measure.

there is no other way to put the emotions that were presented in front of me, from what i would say i've seen. i had friends; i lost them, and yet i remained to remember their legacy. a smile. a wave. a friendly ear. grudges held, misled intents kept - and yet i persevered.

i lived loudly, then i lived quietly, and i found that a quiet life of listening had always suited me more. i kept talking, too - after all, it's what i'm good at - but mostly, i simply shared what i knew of life to the unsuspecting, and they listened, and they loved.

my children roam esshar somewhere, a bloodline unending and a spark for more hopefully sitting somewhere within their hearts.

and yet, for all of these things, i never did return home to mom and dad like i said i would. decades went by, and i never went back to that cottage; instead, i stayed here and i grew, and i loved, and i lived my life to the fullest capabilities, and then -

i died. violently, in the domain of hecate elaide, by the hands of those closest to me, in order to curry her favor.

for the gain of others and in my name, i was a sacrifice, and in helheim i would remain.

---

in my second life,



i've learned just what i have that others don't.

i know that sounds like bragging, but it's true. such a position in hecate's domain as the caretaker of the eternal meadow didn't seem like much at first, but it was glorious once i felt its true power, its need for violence, for essence. its draw. its craving.

so, i acted as the draw that kept the flytrap fed. a mask on my face, whisked away by illusions for full effect; if a stray nethradin didn't wander into its domain due to a lack of caution and courtesy, they would wander in for the intents of me on the outer layers of her empire, and there they would succumb. a slow dance, but a lovely one.

ah, to feed upon such a delight of magic, to feel raw meat and ichor between my lips. it is a feeling that i understand in the vampires now, for it is the same within me. but you couldn't let me rest beneath the sands of time, could you? instead, you drew us all up from helheim, and you seized what binds me to me.

for the gain of others and in my name, i was once more wrenched from my home.

so now here i sit, in purgatory, trying to figure out what you will make up for the reasoning of my existence on esshar once more. perhaps...

it will go like this, solely for the gratification of your wishes and delights.

---

in my "first" life, truthfully my third,



i will always have been yours in the narrative spun, no matter what consequences come of it.

perhaps i'll be born in that lovely city now reduced to swamps. perhaps my parents will be different - perhaps they will be the same. i never told you about them, and if i have, i don't remember; your stand-ins may be absent, or adoring, or downright cruel. either way, my path remains the same.

whatever institute of learning there is on essharan soil - an academy, perhaps - i go there. i will not remember much; after all, that is divorced from you, and as such divorced from the reality that you will mold for me. somehow, i will meet you. you will have saved me, i imagine - you seem keen on that as an idea.

i will know nobody other than you. that is how you will paint the picture.

as of how i died and came back into your arms, who knows? perhaps it was a tragic accident saving your life, a medical mishap, or something that simply happened one day that you couldn't accept. my heart went still, and you will make it beating once more, no matter what it takes from me.

for the gain of others and in my name, i will surely forget myself -

and yet, there is something to remember.

"When you walk through this world again, make new memories and uncover your old ones."

that's what one of you told me to do. an old friend, i think.

he spoke of immortality. of an eternity ahead of me.

though i may not remember who they are,
and faces will elude me in their stride,
i will learn in time, just as before.

we'll see what happens next.

embracing the future,

hina