Testament of Hina (Nishimura? Asimov? Vanreth?)

[Seraphite]

Everybody has to write one of these sometime. When they do it is debatable - perhaps a loved one encourages them to just in case of a loss, or maybe they simply do it on a whim. Me? I've simply done it because it is necessary. Death's slow, inevitable crawl comes for me; I can feel its breath down my neck, even as I write this. It will be left behind as I travel, and held tight on my person when I return. As such, if you're reading this...

I'm dead. 

Perhaps you know how it happened. Perhaps you don't; I do not know what will befall me even as I pen these words, inspired so by the loss of an old friend. Some scheme has seized me from a world where I had so little and so much to do at the same time, so many relying on me and so many to disappoint once they discover my absence. My fate, too, is not one I know - perhaps I will have reincarnated by now, spirit sent to a star up there in that gleaming sky, or perhaps I lay further below like I've always deserved. 

My life, then, is unimportant in the grand scheme of things. Creatures of the Void whisper and the five Marquis of Hel deal, the Primordials exist - and yet I was never going to be one to truly see splendor, to do great things. Instead, I have remained behind. Restrained. Mortality and morality alike consumed me with fear of death and pain, both of myself and others, and that has made all the difference in my life. A lynchpin, one to hear all the secrets that this world had to offer, and yet it never did anything. 

How wretched I was, in the end. Miserable. And yet, being human was the most appealing thing in all of it. After all, you must feel the lowest of lows to feel those highest of highs.

Perhaps, then, I'll get to rest after these final words are imparted, within that eternal sleep I once spoke of.

To Leonid: My darling son, my child, the thing that kept me going when I was in despair - I love you. No matter what you have done, and no matter what you will do, it will remain so. I could never hate you. I simply need you to do two things for me...

To Reykael: I am so so sorry that I couldn't stick around longer. I wish I could have hugged you one last time, seen you in all your happiness and glory; and yet, I suppose it's too late now. Smile for me, would you? Knowing that you stayed happy despite it all is the one thing I could ever ask from you.

To Viktor: Well, you aren't 'pspspspsp'ing me anymore, I guess. It's a shame that we grew apart - and that you had to become what you did. Try to see if you can come visit wherever my spirit's gone, and bring some friends. Just don't kill someone for my sake.

To Synesia: You're stronger than you know. Remember what I have told you, and don't get yourself killed while you achieve all that you have dreamed of, all that you have ever wanted. If any of us between you and I could do it, it would be you.

To Ektu: Try to find me when you die. We can have another teatime then - just don't rush here. You are good, and you are innocent, and you are everything that I wished to be but wasn't. A better me. A better you. I offered what I did because I cared, and even now, I do not regret it.

To Ilya: ... don't cry for me. I know you might not be able to, but don't anyway. You were - and are - stronger than I'm sure your family could have ever comprehended. Remain true to yourself, to your goals - and perhaps try to get in touch with me, okay? I'm sure you'll figure out where I went somehow, and from there, all that you need is somebody capable of contacting such a place.

To Seth: I didn't get to know you nearly as well as I wanted to, but there's still one last thing I can do before I'm gone forever. [Beneath these words appear to be an arbitrary list of alchemical ingredients - but to the Docro, it will make sense in due time.]

To Nidaz: There are no words that I could say that would take you off of your chosen path.

And now, to those who cannot read their letters just yet.

To Killian: You were a brother in all but blood and name. Whenever I would feel that despair, that guilt, it was almost like I could feel you watching - encouraging me, after all of it. I never forgot. I can only hope you never forget me, either.

To Ethric: Sorry for disappointing you time and time again. You always had faith in me, even when I lost touch. For that, I thank you eternally.

To Natasha: You were a burning light in your own darkness, a force to be reckoned with - an inspiration, one not requiring a last name to be notable or relevant. You were Natasha. That is all you could have been, and I am so glad that you were that way within my vicinity for as long as you were.

To Dallan: I bet you're laughing your ass off at me from where you are right now. Or perhaps you're crying, mourning for what I could have been. Honestly, though? I just hope you've found your solace and comfort in the same realm I reside in.

To Alexei: I always owed you an apology for what happened - for not being more blunt about my rejections of such thoughts that you had, for disappointing you over and over. But hey, at least now you don't have to deal with me anymore. Perhaps this is the best ending for us both.

To Dimitri: ... no words I could write could properly express how I still feel, even after all these years without you. Each day that goes on, as I feel myself withering, I consider - is it worth it, to throw myself onto that pyre of Her light, just to see you one last time? Perhaps that's why I've agreed to what I did, to an adventure with Leonid and Marius. Perhaps I seek that release, even as I wish to live in equal measure. I love you. Do not forget that.

And finally, a letter that might come as a surprise...

To My Daughter: Hi. It's me. Your mom. Perhaps you'll see me growing up in your dreams, if I'm lucky enough to figure out that power - after all, if Hecate could raise Leonid like that, perhaps I can raise you in the same manner. You look like me. It's strange. You have my hair, you have my ears, you even have that cute fluffy tail. You look so peaceful when you sleep. Even if I didn't want you at first, this warm feeling continues to grow. Perhaps one day, you'll be like me - eager and adventurous, ready to explore the world. I can only hope they haven't hurt you irrevocably by then. Stay safe.