Perpetua LIVII

[Laemor]

"I have come face-to-face with death, many times... How much further? Until my body can stand... No more."

Name: Haarper Aertas
Date of Birth: 1805AC
Allegiances: Esshar
Magic: BladeMaster
   

[Laemor]

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"With hands held tightly around my blade...

I've come to find myself seeing the truth in what those had told me... That my attempts at saving all those around me? Would be my ruin, would bring me more enemies than allies. Clear as day it became when I was brought to my knees before the Osronaian army, with Achyon to my back, I was merely a trigger away from departing the land... Since then? It's felt as though death has become the only thing to embrace me... Have I changed? If I have? Isn't that natures intention...

I'm not stronger than those I must defeat... Yet when people come to me and request my assistance? I cannot do nothing, but laugh. 

Am I worthy of their attention? 

I feel so unworthy to hold onto this blade...

It's weight holds only one life, but it burdens me so greatly. Those who desire to be a hero... Speak so highly of it. 

I wonder what they'd think of me. If they knew how I honestly felt. How scared of death I am. 

How badly I want to live, and see tomorrow beside them.

   
   

Does the voice attempt reaching out to those in need...

Because if not me? Who has risen from ashes, from nothing... Then who else? I ask not for something in-return, but the knowledge of having saved a life that might've seen its end. To avoid the painic-striken faces that come with being oblivious to your allies life ending. Despite the strength I express to others, no matter how cold I might be perceived when I tell others to press on. It is because I've seen the cruelty of this world. I have given birth to opportunities where others could be exposed to danger. Because I risk myself out there.

Someone once told me... With hatred in their voice...

"What kind of Hero am I?"

Justifying the defense of a killer...

To this day, it's not something I can answer. All I can say is? 

There are no enemies, we are, but ordinary men. Fighting for our ideals... 

Is that Justice?

   
   

To know, I kneel. For no one... But them."

For life has taught me many things. Where symbol lies in the oath and not the action... 

For in the truth of it all? 

Many have brought me down... Many have tested themselves against me...

Within my failures though, do I find clarity. The rage, the anger, the sadness? They act as good motivation, for what I must do. No matter how much I try to avoid the battlefield, I find myself naturally drawn to the conflict. Is this the meaning in what was once spoken to me before... "A mans holds power over their mind, not the outside world... That is where you'll find true strength. And true delight, will be found in what you were made for."

[Laemor]

Aertas Offspring: A New Future

  

A will, written in the midst of night. While his children slumbered in their rooms and his wife lied still in their dreams on the bed beside him. Should and when he finally meets his end? These letters would be sent to their respective figures.

  
For when I fall, I want you to know... 
  

That I feel as if I lived a full life and experienced more than I ever imagined. From where I started, up until when I fell... Don't feel sadness by my departure. Because at any moment I could've refused the prophecy of Eos and abandoned the fields of war. Lived a comfortable life, sheltered away with my children. 

But that's just not in my nature. With my strength? I feel a great amount of responsibility to those who fell before me. For they'd never forgotten in the will I carried forward. A torch for the path that looked to darken at times. Yet, perseverance is key. And humanities greatest tool. I fought despite knowing how it would end for me, not for fame or glory... I imagine i'll forgotten quite easily. The thought, however? Of even a single life being saved and being blessed with a legacy. Fills me with joy.

My only regret? Is that I'll never get the chance to see peace finally come to Esshar. No matter the outcome... I pray its one worth it.

  

Sylva/Dionte/Sophia

Classified!
*Though tears stained the surface of this paper.*

   
Saga

Dear Saga,
  

Amidst the students i've taught my entire life. You're apart of the group that brought me a constant reminder to the path I walked. For better or worst, the pain you suffered by the loss of Dallan? Had haunted me for days on end, but I couldn't shed a tear. Knowing my last moments with the man? Were one where we shared a common view. A time where we both discarded tension between each other. To climb a mountain and save a life. 

   

I hope one day you can truly understand...

   

That remarkable people are drawn together, because humanity desires they build something great for the people. Whether it be warriors, to carve way on the fields of war. Or scholars to build a monument and write peoples of their legacy. So that the future could build upon it. You've a capacity to be both, unlike myself... I never did consider myself good with words. I always just spoke my mind, my heart. 

Regardless... What i'm trying to say is? Remain strong and don't lose your way.

Sincerely, Haarper Aertas.

   
Ethric Athelier

Dear Ethric, 
  

What I write, is a short summery to how I really feel... Because to explain the emotions that run through me now as I think about all you've done for me? Is difficult to put into words. Thank you... Your surgery that day? When I think back to it now. Was my rebirth, my chance... I can only hope? I made you proud.

  
Sincerely, Haarper Aertas

   

Archmagi Rehsus

Dear Rehsus DeLaurentis,

  

I remember when we spoke for the first time, strange how it takes saving someone. To have a conversation with them... Because... As I roamed the stones of the academy in my youth? You and many others, were surrounded by companions, building a way forward; together. Fondly, did I find it all, much like a fairytale in the making. I felt like an observer to what greatness and tragedies would befall our generation. And yet... It was during those long hours, each day. The more I learned? The more I realized just how alone I was, always surrounded by people. But never noticed.
 
Maybe that was when I first decided I wanted to be strong... Do you think that's selfish of me? To know my origins aren't as righteous or pure as some of the knights in the faith? I never one a man of religion, just a man with a sword. Who always tried his best. 
 
I pray for good fortunes during your rule over Osrona. Though the island isn't truly unified just yet? I'm sure you can make it happen...
 
Sincerely, Haarper Aertas

      

Ilias Aertas

Dear Ilias,

  

The first person I could truly call a; friend. In our first interaction? You'd been burned by the wrath of a family member... I was weak, without strength nor skill to help you. As the tears built up on my face? They were wiped away only by the comfort of your breath still lingering... Had it not been for Paca? I don't think i'd have had the strength or in-sight to help you. Rather... To my final day? I never felt like I had the capacity to help you... Which is one of my greatest regrets. 

   

But you've grown though... So much from the anger, whether it still exist or not inside you? Is well concealed beneath a layer of charisma. 

  

Do well beside my children... Please. I know this is probably too much to ask for... But in my last breath? I ask of the favor of watching over my family. Your sister.

Sincerely, Haarper Aertas

  

Lucas Alder

Dear Lucas,

It takes me, coming to the realization... I'll soon leave this world. To finally find the time in giving you the answer I'd managed to find. So long ago. When you'd asked the class in your lecture. "To write up our morale's and views on the world." During that time? I couldn't possibly imagine a foundation existing for myself. Yet like you said? The more I grew, the more I came to understand myself... The role I played on this island.

  

I have felt the pain of suffering & mourning for those I considered friends... The anger that comes with desiring vengeance. With tremendous lost and guilt? Came the perpetual sensation for chaos. I felt as if the strength I wielded? Was truly meant for war, for better or worst. So I clung to what i'd done best, fighting. Constantly setting myself up for success or failure, at the expense of my well-being. Unwavering in this fact? My weapon only further imbued this notion onto me. The adrenaline rush brought me greed and pleasures... Whenever I wasn't beside my wife? It was difficult to feel alive, less my life be on the line. Unless I could see into the glimpse of another's soul whilst exchanging blows? The war felt meaningless, my strength... Felt meaningless. And while I never expressed it only? I took pride in being called the strongest swordsmen on Esshar. Because it reminded me of where I began, my roots... 
  
No matter the outcome though? I never pushed for such logic to take hold. Instead? It drove me further in my passion to bring an end to all this cruelty. For each life that fell to the earth, my blade was raised only higher overhead. My sense of justice might've been naive, but when a man can do the things I could? You act... Don't you? You put on the facade of strength, to conceal the weakness's that burden you, the scars that blanket your back as you defend them. All so they could find hope in your strength?

Sincerely, Haarper Aertas

   

Paca/Blue Lions

Dear, Blue Lions

  

While I never got the chance to hear all your wishes, your dreams. I'm sure they all hold a greater purpose in your heart than I could ever imagine... So if my legacy could inspire only one thing? I hope it's the purpose of pressing forward, amidst the adversity. Lions do not bow, we can't at that without being on all fours... So fight, eve if only for yourself.

  

Sincerely, Haarper Aertas

      
To the Fallen

I'm sorry I couldn't carry on your torch to the end... But I hope to see you all soon.

   

Lando

A strange picture is ironically? Accurately drawn... Beneath it however? One can read the words...

"Keep on fighting the good-fight..."

[Laemor]

"I'm one with my blade, as my blade is with me."

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Whoever coined the phrase, life is a lesson? 
Was right
      
For as I continue to age? Do I find myself being put into situations I never thought I'd encounter. With every day passing, I feel as if I'm being put to a test, I know not whether my answers were right or wrong too. Yet I'm forced to put on a face of courage, of inspiration... If not for myself? Than for the children who aspire to be like me. Who see only a man wielding a blade, somehow manifesting destiny. 
  
Even I would find the story inspiring, even I would find the sight as something worthwhile...
  
But can they all even begin to imagine...
  
Where fear once gripped me, now it's become a sense of restlessness. Like screaming out without spoken words, my hearts becoming a mountain top I can't yet fully ascend to. Even as I strive for peace on Esshar, focusing my attention to other dangers that lurk, I fear I'll be unable to avoid raising my blade once more against those I've considered friends.

I've grown so tired, but I persevere nonetheless...