Marga's Letters to Home

[SerpentineOracle]

Dear friends,

I thought that it might be nice to start writing about my experiences. I know that you're all gone, but it makes me feel better to write you all letters anyhow. First off, I didn't die out in the desert like that bandit said I would. I made it to Moxtli, drank enough water to make myself sick, and took a long sleep in a tree. After that, I mostly wandered around aimlessly, but I guess I got too close to Achyon, because this man in full armor grabbed me. I was so scared that he was going to hurt me, saying that he was adopting me. I didn't know who he was, but I was so scared that as soon as he left me under the watch of his friend, I ran as fast as I could. I'll need to be more careful in the future.

---

Hello again,
I thought that it would be a good idea to sleep in some ruins, but the plants there are strange somehow. That wasn't what ruined my sleep, though, it was the strange man who found me! He called himself The Crab King! I was very excited to meet an entire army of crabs, but it seems that it's actually a bunch of people in a guild of some sort. I guess they're at war with a lot of people, but they're all still very kind. They're warriors, though, and I, am not. I feel like I'm going to let everyone down. Apollonia is a lion-like woman, and she easily crushed me in a mere training fight. I'm kind of scared, but I want to get stronger, I don't want to let everyone down again. Not like you guys.

---

Dearly departed,

I fought a demon! And won! With help, I suppose, but it was kind of a rush. I can tell I'm getting stronger, and it's easier to control the sands around me. It's almost like streams running though me, letting me tug at the threads that bind this world together. I wish I could have shown you all. I'm sorry for running away.

---

Dear friends,

It's been a little bit here, but I fought a giant crab! Well, three giant crabs, and then a fourth massive creature sent by the one who whispers in my dreams. I don't know why I wrote that. I guess I've felt very strange since then, like there's someone else pulling my strings. I keep dreaming that I'm drowning in the ocean, surrounded by some kind of bleeding crystals. There's someone out there trying to call me, but I'm too scared to listen. When I'm awake, I'm dizzy all the time, so I've been trying to spend more time in the desert. I'm hoping if I dry out enough, I'll stop drowning in my dreams.
PS-The crab was delicious.

---

Hey guys,

I saw him again, the guy who tried to adopt me by force. He's from Achyon and I saw him heading up toward Fireblooded territory. I don't know what it means. I did some training, climbed a mountain, which is how I saw him in the first place. I'm not as scared of him as I was before, but I don't think I'm strong enough to face him. So I've gone back to the desert to train some more. I need to get faster.

[SerpentineOracle]

Dear friends,

It's been a while since I've had anything worthwhile to write about. Joining the King Crab's Army was a mistake. I don't know anyone in the army anymore, and it seems like those who are left sneer at me. I wish I could just leave like the others did, but then I'm left without purpose. Not that I think I have much now. I'm starting to wonder if you all would be proud of me or not...

I've learned to turn sand into larger crystals of quartz at the sound of my voice and the movements of my hands. If nothing else, I feel like more of a mage now. The crystals hum, not in a way you can hear with your ears, but in a way you just, feel it. Of course, I'm not really a mage, just some dumb orphan that wandered around until someone took pity on her.


Speaking of... I've been working with Mochan. He was part of the army, but he felt that his lot in life wasn't to harm, but to heal. He made me a stave as a gift, and it's [some water stains the page and blurs the ink] most beautiful thing I've ever held in my own two hands. I've ground up some things to brew some potions, but I need to head out again soon to get some more. If only I didn't live in this sewer, I could grow my own flowers. Anyway, wish me luck, even if it didn't do you all any good. I really hope you guys are looking out for me. Maybe you are. I really like Mochan, and I'm sureI wouldn't have met him if not for the army.

Miss you all.

[SerpentineOracle]

Dearly departed,

[water stains have blurred the ink]-ainst my will is part of the army, and he doesn't recognize me. Of all things he called me "woman". I thought maybe he had been misguided before and that my fear-[water stains have blurred the ink]-han he was, but no, he's scum. But he's not that important-[water stains have blurred the ink]-who I am, so I don't have to worry about that anymore, I guess...

Ean asked me to become-[water stains have blurred the ink]-y seems out of nowhere, I agreed. He wants me to be a diplomat by his side, and-[water stains have blurred the ink]-el like I've betrayed-[water stains have blurred the ink]-about it, explained my reasons, he confirmed that I really had betrayed him. My heart hurts so much. I don't know what to write here. But I suppose no-[water stains have blurred the ink]-th, and I won't break-[water stains have blurred the ink]-d considered it before, it's too late to turn back.

I wish I could take it back, but I have to—[The rest of the page is too blurred to read, as if it had been left in the rain]

[SerpentineOracle]

My Dear Friends,

Today I learned more about the realms of the great tree of life. I hope you're all happy, where ever you went. Alfheim doesn't sound so bad, honestly, but if you all went to Yggdrasil, that would be even better. It would mean I'd have a chance to see you all again. Not that you'd remember me, and you would all be very different, but it sounds better than being dead forever. I'm glad that Gajin let me come to his lecture. He looks pretty scary, but he seems like a very nice guy. Of course, he's still one of the fireblooded, so I wouldn't want to test his patience.

Honestly, I needed the break to just be myself. I feel like I'm going to have to start drinking jester potions every day. I don't think I'm fit to be queen. To make matters worse, I think Ean is lying to me. He said that he only had one love before, but he left her. I figured this to be Apollonia, due to his habit of picking her up, much how he shows me affection now. However, I overheard something about Ro.


I need to investigate further...

[SerpentineOracle]

My friends,

I left him. I left the army. I threw away everything I pledged to, leaving behind even my cloak. I was crying and throwing my sandals in a box. It hurt at the time, like ripping out a thorn, and maybe I bled, but I feel better now that it's over. I feel free! I feel like I have endless possibility. Most importantly, I don't feel like I'm without direction. For the first time since I lost you all, I think I might actually be able to be happy.

I went back to Mochan, and I'm sorry I ever even considered never seeing him again. I guess it's true that you don't know what you've lost until it's gone. I think I might [the words are furiously scribbled out]. It's too soon to say that! I do care about him. A lot. I don't know how I'm going to get him the materials to improve Miasma, though. I'll figure it out.

At least I can finally put more time into understanding how magi work. How I work. It's been a while since I've dreamt of drowning, but I feel like that was related to some sort of taint in my mana. I need to do more research.

[SerpentineOracle]

My Dear Friends,

Much has happened in the last time I wrote to you, but now I am at war. In the end, my true allegiance had been to freedom, and by extent ion, to Moxtli. So I have gone forth in the defense of freedom. It hurts me a lot to have left Mochan behind, but I don't think I could have focused if I wasn't sure he was safe.

Styx and I came across a couple of scouts, I think, and I'm glad we happened to be travelling together. The two from Achyon weren't as bloodthirsty as I expected, and even though I was knocked down, the one I fought didn't follow through. He didn't even seriously hurt me. Styx held back too, and in the end we chased the scouts away without killing anyone. I doubt every battle will go this way, but I'm glad that I didn't have to get blood on my hands, and I'm glad I didn't die. I miss you all, but I'm not ready to come visit yet.

Asena preserve me, Saekanis bring ruin to Achyon. The battle hasn't ended yet.

[SerpentineOracle]

My Dearest Friends,

I miss you all so much, even still, but this will be the last letter I write to you. I was deemed too weak to fight Achyon, but that's not what kept me home. I've been treating Mochan poorly. I'm always going off on whatever cause I feel I must, not even bothering to take his feelings into consideration. So I'm staying with him. We're catching up on lost time.

As for you all... I've been trying to keep your memory, but it's been dragging me down. I want to make things right, and to make up for my failures, but thinking of nothing but has been hurting me. I even wanted to erase the memory of you all, just to get rid of the pain, but that's not healthy. I'm starting to thing that writing to you isn't healthy either. So, this is my last letter to you.

I often think about the times when you all were alive, when it was just us against the world, overcoming every obstacle together and always landing on our feet. I could never imagine not being together, it was simply not an option. You were like family to me and I knew you all felt the same about me. So this is why it’s so difficult for me to no longer write letters to you. I never in a million years thought I would stop doing this but here I am…

I hope we meet again somehow, but it's time I properly lay you to rest. Goodbye, Aturan. Goodbye, Herusia. Goodbye, Puru. Goodbye, Welis. Goodbye, Kaga. Goodbye, Kira. Goodbye everyone, I hope you all rest well.  Right now I'm really sad because I'll never hear any of you laugh again, and I'll never get to play in the dunes with you all. I guess even if I kept writing letters I wouldn't have that again. They say time gives you perspective. Time alone possesses the power to help you move on, to heal your wounds and heartaches, to turn your back on what must be forsaken, to forget. Who knows, maybe it will take a lifetime to heal, and maybe I will learn a valuable lesson.

I know I will still think about it but will be less painful over time. I'm sure I'll think about it less and less, even if it just comes back sometimes, an emotion I still can’t quite control, the reminiscing of some buried memories that accidentally wander through my mind. You are part of my past, of my story, of my life. Forever. But I know now that you will not be there in the future. Mochan will be, and I owe it to him to move on.

I think, I’m ready. I love you all and part of me will always love you… but I’m letting you go.

I miss you.

Goodbye my friends, may we meet in the next life.