Wishing you were here.

[Threemadbroski]

Somewhere on Esshar lays a journal always in the satchel of a young girl. Her last name is proudly written on it's front. Although in a seemingly childish manner. However despite that the content seems to hold passionate paragraphs laid out in neat handwriting. Those with a keen eye can tell the girl is addressing somebody other then herself at times in it.

Recently. I've made it back to brother. I've been really happy about being by his side again. I don't quite have the words in my vocabulary yet to explain that joy in detail. I'm sorry if I've managed to disappoint you by lacking in that area. But I'm sure in others I've managed to dip my feet in will make up for that. Like socializing! I have a friend outside of brother. Emily Cos Salis. She is very odd. She really cares about being a noble. I don't have the guts to tell her I don't think such titles matter. It might hurt her feelings. Although even though I have my opinion I suppose her love of that title is a boon. It seems to have her mind set on a path. That kind of determination can be described as passion I think. Speaking of which. I've begun to seek Biblos. I wonder what you would think of that? Sometimes I have doubts about it. I feel like I'm not being original. I almost feel like I'm seeking Biblos as a crutch. But when I think about the things I want to do. I know for a fact. That it is genuine what I've begun to feel when I look at the night sky and gaze.

I should ask Brother if you ever told him how you felt when you look up at the sky. Sometimes no all the time. I wish you could be standing on this ground enjoying the sky instead of me. I've felt so selfish indulging in the precious sky. Actually I've felt a lot of things except anger. But when I look at the sky they melt away. Those thoughts. Especially after with how swell things have been of late. Anyways,I'm going to keep trying my best. Trying my hardest to try and make my brother proud. If I didn't that would make me a horrible sister. Unworthy to be related to somebody of his position.

-Isadora

The next pages seem to just be similar tangents.

[Threemadbroski]

I'm sorry. That is all I can ever say. Recently I've felt the lack of courage I have or rather confidence in what I do. Biblos even saw me as worthy. I even managed to find the scarf of some fae king and participate in a tournament thanks to it. I couldn't fortify the spirit of another something I feel like is a basic duty as an acolyte. I tried my best to amplify his prayer. Somebody who I consider my friend only to let him down. Instead contacting something foreign. I even called upon your name before I did Biblos. I don't feel worthy to even look at the same night sky you once gaze upon with so much love. Even if you are looking down instead of up now it has to be in disgust.
 Especially after this display.

I hurt. Usually crying makes me feel better. But it's starting to simply bring more negative thoughts to my mind. But that's alright. Even if I can't see myself in a respectful manner. The night sky is kind, It will forgive me for such a screw up. But I can't help but feel nothing but fear that I know I'll have no choice but to confront. I didn't know it was even possible to reach out beyond Leonaus minus a few exceptions. I hope whatever it was doesn't begin to watch him. But while I drive my self insane by weaving an ocean from my eyes. I have to keep looking at the sky. Studying it. So I can make sure such an odd slip never happens again. Such a frightful event that is beyond my own thought process.

But even when I was trying to stay calm. His mother happened to walk in. I watched her console him. It's been a while since I've felt completely defeated. But that sealed the deal. Honestly that shouldn't have bothered me. But it did. It made me feel guilty. I always ponder how somebodies actions took you away from me and brother. But for a moment I thought how the opposite would feel if somebody lost their child. Once I calm down I'll keep walking forward. I'll remain motivated in the name of Biblos. Because if I can understand the sky just a little bit more these harsh realities might just become a little more approachable through compassion. Anyways I need to get my thoughts coherent again first so I suppose I'll be sleeping for now.
-Isadora