An Unheard Prayer

[Milly]

There is a hill near Nysea, where a particular Astor likes to frequent. Where she had been taught everything there was to know about the cosmos from a certain Petrakis.
Where she had taught others the same.
And where she went for comfort.

Don't you hear me? Don't you hear my words, and my prayers? Nightly, daily, I send them. I always send them and the other return I've gotten is suffering and more suffering, stacked on top of the previous like an unstable tower of cards. It's always ready to tumble down onto the table and yet it never did.

Not until now.

My Mother was taken from me, and I felt my heart burst from my chest. For I knew with her death I'd never get to hug her again or see her smile. For I knew with her death I'd have responsibility piled onto my shoulders when it shouldn't be there, far too early.

My city was taken from me, and I saw my people killed and my home destroyed. For I knew with that loss, I'd never get to explore the halls of my home ever again, and laugh in the gardens or see how the constellation lit up perfectly from the balcony at night, when I should have been asleep.

My brother was taken from me, and I saw my sister-in-law cry and weep and I joined her. For I knew with his death, their children would never get to experience the genuine kindness and warmth he had to offer. That they would never get to truly appreciate his devotion to his people.

My brother was taken from me, and I saw his daughter cry and weep and I desperately wished to join her. For I knew with his death, a responsibility heavier than the one I had to shoulder would be piled onto her own. Yet I didn't, because she needed me.

She needs me, now more than ever. So I will help to shoulder her burden, for she doesn't have to go through this alone as I did. I will be her sword, and I will most important of all be her shield. She will never fall, not before I do.

You've taken, and you've taken and what do I have to show for it in return? Another loss, another failure and yet this failure is the worst one of all. I have failed what the Angels imparted onto my Family thousands of years ago, and I don't know what to do. I don't know how to handle it. So Alph - please. Give me a sign, give me anything. 

Tell me what to do, because I am lost in this sea of emotion and I don't know how to handle it. People believe in me, and have faith in me but how can they when even the faith within myself wavers? I had too much pride and was liable to fall to the same sin as Serea, and yet I strove out of it... And now I waver with not pride, but despair.

So I give unto you my prayers and my hope, for our salvation.
Hear me, Maltziel - Alph - whoever will listen.
Just give me a sign.

[Milly]

Upon that same hill, after sunset stands a lone woman dressed in black and red. She stares up to the star-studded sky.

Was this your sign? I asked you for a sign and instead of preventing death you send it straight to my doorstep!

There was nothing I could have done to stop him, sans force - and even that probably wouldn't have worked. Is this your idea of some sick, disgusting and cruel joke? To have me there in front of him as he dies?

With Alexander, I had a choice. To call a retreat or to attack Walter and try to save him... I called a retreat then.

With Atlas, I attacked Misha in an attempt to save him and where did that get me?

WITH THE SAME OUTCOME!

If this is your idea of a cruel joke, then stop. For I am no longer willing to play your games or dance to your fiddle.

Just stop - ... Please.