Entry #1
I SHOULD have asked him that. I should have asked him a LOT of things, just me and him in the house. But I didn't want to talk to him. I thought that was a WASTE of my time. My Mom hadn't wanted to talk to him either, that's for sure. Lack of communication is one of those RELATIONSHIP KILLERS.
'Dot' is close enough to 'dotty,' that I am still VERY unhappy. Unhappy enough to... to... give at least my dad a 'what for.' I LIKE the sound of that. I never got those romantic, life-changing LAST WORDS before he died, so I should have given him something to REMEMBER instead. Broken a window, thrown a punch, made him NOT shut the door on me. Osrona crumbles whether he was THERE or NOT. The smoke SMELLED even in the basement. Dad was a soldier, but he FAILED to protect me or even LIVE.
![[Image: djqqwhbSDdAceHGZuZgQi_zcJf1G7oLbHskE3afw...2I8_UZaXk-]](https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/djqqwhbSDdAceHGZuZgQi_zcJf1G7oLbHskE3afwGy-rk2gM4JPB-rLNEkNj6USr7gsg8eWLshEh8H0eZxh_zVwMUvs7aTB8mgQ-Kr5L9_CpO0OknjPJdZxP9iJ0ro2I8_UZaXk-)
Despite that, being outside WORRIES me. I'm EIGHTEEN, but I only get along with the local kids, local teenagers, (with one exception. I HOPE we meet again, even if he would look contrite as I asked for his name again.)
![[Image: VA3ws_9B1MgnzniY_Pq99ls9b8vb47lpfrrW9Vd6...EFDcKicL-o]](https://lh4.googleusercontent.com/VA3ws_9B1MgnzniY_Pq99ls9b8vb47lpfrrW9Vd6fCUGnQQtuzFja9LY6z_RbS8-jf28S0mS1Qf4leCTA2jqMAWe8fMbbqhiuyPK7VlsGbaDyEfxGz1vSMaSd7ULaBEFDcKicL-o)
I'm ALIVE but I am NOT HAPPY. I lost so much TIME. All I have anymore are QUESTIONS with answers I KNOW I should know by now. All I can tell myself to sleep at night is
-Her mind is certainly a noisy thing. Dot cannot write such a thing down on paper anyways.
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I NEVER asked my dad why my name is Dot.-I SHOULD have asked him that. I should have asked him a LOT of things, just me and him in the house. But I didn't want to talk to him. I thought that was a WASTE of my time. My Mom hadn't wanted to talk to him either, that's for sure. Lack of communication is one of those RELATIONSHIP KILLERS.
hahaha
'Dot' is close enough to 'dotty,' that I am still VERY unhappy. Unhappy enough to... to... give at least my dad a 'what for.' I LIKE the sound of that. I never got those romantic, life-changing LAST WORDS before he died, so I should have given him something to REMEMBER instead. Broken a window, thrown a punch, made him NOT shut the door on me. Osrona crumbles whether he was THERE or NOT. The smoke SMELLED even in the basement. Dad was a soldier, but he FAILED to protect me or even LIVE.
imagine all that struggling and still never getting your closure. it is a yawning chasm that grows the more i think on it. never and only Another dot is whole.
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EVENTUALLY I ran out of rations and had to venture OUTSIDE, but getting a part-time job was easy. Manual labor is in demand, and my boss never asked pesky questions like "shouldn't you be in school, brat?" And when I told him that I was a magi and could easily find work elsewhere, he gave me a raise. Despite that, being outside WORRIES me. I'm EIGHTEEN, but I only get along with the local kids, local teenagers, (with one exception. I HOPE we meet again, even if he would look contrite as I asked for his name again.)i don't know why just kids. friendly? relatable?? but i always wanted a younger sibling. even an older one since i'm not picky. the cuter the better. 
...as long as nobody else knows i'm eighteen think i can pass off being a kid for another few years. i want to fit in. the market sells these... 'youthful remedies.' i can be a thirty year old teenager easily if i put my mind to it. that is the power of the mind.
I'm ALIVE but I am NOT HAPPY. I lost so much TIME. All I have anymore are QUESTIONS with answers I KNOW I should know by now. All I can tell myself to sleep at night is
SOON.
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last chance to live.
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i've never heard of being granted a third chance.