Little Dream

[Dreamspeaker]

"We will build our own home. It will be great, for all of us..."

Do you remember this dream?

I wanted to ask him that. I wanted to hear that he would like to begin again, to start it all over. At times, I wonder if he wanted me to do it... why couldn't he just say that he wants to live? Why couldn't he just say that he no longer wishes to entertain the goals of Dark Lord? He wanted freedom, I know that... but I cannot ignore all that happened. I just cannot. And she knows that too..

When I said that this doesn't matter to me, I lied.

I lied to not break her heart.

To not fight her brother infront of her.

It's a strange thing to look up to the stars in the moments such as these. With her weeping at my side, and so many thoughts rushing through my mind, all I could hope for is that the stars would answer me. In the times of doubt and uncertainty, I had nowhere else to look up to - nobody else to teach me how to take decisions in these situations, how to be a leader, how to be a king. Can you tell me, now?

I don't know what..

.. to do anymore.

All I have left are bad options.

And no matter what I decide, there's going to be blood.

Difficult to think about it, when all I see are her pleading tears on my mind and the stifled cries on my ears. I understand this is what I was made for, that I am the guardian of Njorun, the spiritual protector of this realm - as are many of my kin. But.. I have strength to do it in the moment, to fight against the enemy, to spill their blood if it means fulfilling my duty. To deal with the heartache afterward, however?

What should I do?

This is killing me more than they think.

I don't want to answer violence with violence against those I care about.

I don't want to have to do this ever again.

But what choice do they give?

I wish we could just return to the older, simple days. I wish we could fight side by side again. That day, when I saved him against the emissary of Vartuul.. I hoped that we would always remain friends, no matter what. So please, answer to me. What do I do? How can I look at her ever again, when her eyes are filled with resentment to me? How can I fulfill my duty, when it eats me on the inside?

I'm doing my best to reach out.

I hope that it would hear me in the heavens above.

Being alive is making choices.
Between love and hate,
between holding out your hand..
or closing it as a fist.

I don't have easy answers, Basil.

You have to accept the world as it is.


Or...
fight...
to change it.

That is what I dreamed about, is it not? There was a Rhoynur boy, once.. vowing to change Esshar for the better, to change the fate of his people for better. They were killing my people for the longest time, and now, when I no longer have to watch for them - there are more difficult decisions I have to make. When the weight of so many fate rests upon your shoulders, and the things I feel when I take the life of another, it's never easy..

It never was.

When the world falls to darkness,
some men have the courage to lead it out.
You're one of those men.
Face the abyss,
but don't let it consume you.

He was her brother. Our brother.

It's not easy to push aside the ones you love to make the right choice- to make the difficult choice. But she knows. She knew all along that it would come, one day - because I'm made for this. My heart may ache, but my spirit pushes me to fight against the encroaching dark. I ignored it for far too long because of our bonds with them... and I can ignore it no longer.

I'm sorry, Mars.

I hope you will understand.