Ashes No More

[ASignalInTheNoise]

All I was left ... All I've had,

Has been ashes.

And yet here I am, having sworn to never walk the path of ash ...

... walking that lonely road.

. . .

I was taught that the blade can teach you much - that you'd learn well by the lash of it's bite and the clash of steel on steel.

And yet all I have learned is that I am awful at making decisions, awful at being a person - awful at just about everything I have put my mind to.

For every oath made, I have left behind the precious handful I could call my friends; even if we barely knew each other, they were all I had.

For every choice made, I have scorned a dozen more.

For every want I chase, I burn another bridge.

. . .

Oh, Caethir, this city ...

You are the only thing I have ever truly built.

These walls the only ears I have ever had.

I've given up so much for you - but when I look at those walls, built with my own two hands,

I start to think that it was worth it, for a moment.

Even if Adelaide isn't the Crown I swore myself to, so long ago...

. . .

I have never had a friend, really, not in the way people talk about.

Perhaps this book is the closest thing I will have to the idea that is always mentioned - someone to listen, someone to always be there.

But I know, one day, I'll turn these pages of parchment to ash, too, like just everything else I touch. Will anyone read these pages but me?

I don't think so. And maybe, that is for the best. For all my duty bound loyalty - I will hold nothing but a handful of secrets from anyone.

Everything has been sorrow. Everything has been loss.

. . .

I will not have any more ashes.

I'll burn them away in the heat of my unyielding flame.

No more suffering.

And so despised, I abandon myself.

From the crawling of men, To the dance of flames.

[ASignalInTheNoise]

Twelve years.

Twelve years of toil, suffering, and spite.

Twelve years of pretending it would be worth it one day.

Twelve years of my life for that city, where a false king now sits.

Now my chains are broken. If it is the last thing I do, I will break that crown.

I'm sorry, Franz, for the things I said.

I would stop myself in that moment, if I could. All you wanted was to see how I was doing.

You missed me.

But I let the anger get the best of me. I let everything that had happened to me get the best of me.

But none of it was a lie. None of it was wrong. It was all the truth that I'd shielded you from for so long.

Maybe I shouldn't've. Maybe I should've let you have the truth instead of trying to pretend things were fine.

You'll never read these words. You'll never know how sorry I am.

I wish things could be different; that we could have that shining kingdom you and I shared dreams about.

That new world we wanted to built ... so hopeful, looking back upon those days.

It's not your fault.

I wish Adelaide was a fraction of the King you are.

And that is why things are the way they are, now.

Adelaide. The pretender. The False King.

Will you laugh again with the weight of the steel on your neck?