have I always been...

[Drive]

... a convenient tool?



You know.

I've never really had much of a childhood.

I've made mistakes, I was a rash child, I always went in over my head so much so that it didn't take long for someone to crack it open.

That's when I felt like I can't relate to anyone anymore. 

I didn't feel anything at all.

That changed me.

But I knew I still cared.

Why?

Because for them, I'd spent countless hours awake making sure everything I built lasted.

Countless days where I'd rather sleep over my desk, rather than my bed.

For my siblings.

For Fynn.
For Lynn.
For Jeanette.

The first time I'd seen one of them hurt - I felt the wind escape my lungs, and the rest of my body going numb, it was the only thing I felt anymore - it was fear, fear of losing them and ending up..

Alone.

I'd lost my childhood worrying over them, only for you to make me hate them too.

When Jeannete was banished, I agreed with your decision.

When Lynn left to join a coven to bring about the warlock she fell for.
I killed her for you.

When Fynn came back, after you'd learned he'd sold his soul.
I let him end it himself.



I've seen the signs, 
And tricked myself,
If it was for you,
It was the best,
For the World.

You cared in your own way.
You made sure I was strong enough.
You gave me a place to hold down to protect your city.
You even made my son rule what would've been mine which, I am glad for.

I've stepped down from the position, rightfully mine, for your sake.

I could've been His Oracle.
I choose a charade to keep the world off of you, and more on me.

Everything I did for you, was out of love.
Everything you did for me.
Was to make sure I was an effective tool.



So much so I tried to turn my children into tools for my own use.
Thomas, I'd wanted to control from behind the scenes.
But my son does not need the love I lacked.
I was too good of a father.
He is stronger than I am.
He had a childhood.
He knows love.

I do not.

To the child I was.
I am sorry.

We made a promise long ago.
We'd never leave them like they left us, right?
We'd never pain them, like they'd pained us, right?
We broke that promise.

We hurt a boy that looks up to us, a boy that descends from us.
We hurt our son.
We hurt our people, we swore to protect.

But it is all for the greater good, no?



... no?