Beautifully Imperfect

[Salvation]

The smell of whiskey always lingered in the air. Like a dark cloud, it hovered over my shoulders and pelted me with raindrops that struck like bullets. It was a sharp reminder of what was to come. A haunting that shook through me day in and day out, an echo that reminded me of my slow descent into the darkness that was my life. Each day was the same. Nothing ever changed. I went to school. I came home. I cooked and I cleaned. The monotony of it all warped me into a person I no longer recognized, because I knew once the cycle reached night - a crash of a bottle would wake me from my restless slumber. Each crash echoed in my chest cavity, and constricted my heart until the pieces of glass ricocheted and pierced my fragile soul.

It was always the same.

It never changed.

Dark shadows would continue to dance in the corners of my room as if they were mocking my misfortune. I swear they made the slur of his voice coming from the hallway louder, to ensure that the harshness of his anger broke through my armor I had spent the entire day building. To remind me my efforts are useless. I can never save myself. Not from what was coming. No matter how strong I built the walls around my heart. He would still stumble through my bedroom door. He would still make me feel and witness his pain through each blow of a fist upon my fragile body. I became a target and a silent witness. I learned to disappear within myself. To hide my spirit beneath the layers of guilt and shame.  I was beautifully broken.

The sun dipped low on the horizon, painting the sky in hues of orange and purple that matched the bruises on my face. I sprinted my broken body toward the beach. My feet sunk into the sand with the effort of each leap, echoing the weight of my beautiful sorrow.  The salty air kissed my cheeks and mingled with the tears that came from my swollen eyes. I don’t know how long I stood in front of those waves and listened to the comfort in their rhythmic sounds. Perhaps I had hoped they would wash away the heaviness that clung to my heart like damp sand.

I fell to my knees and I sobbed.

With nothing but the ocean to hear me.

After some time, the ocean whispered its eternal secrets into my ears. The sadness began to ebb. And at the sight of a mere stranger's face - a fragile flicker of hope ignited itself in my chest. I’d seen him in a dream before. I have painted his face and heard his voice.

‘Salvation! Salvation! Salvation!’

My mind screams it. My soul aches for it.

Acceptance, into a new world.

Into….Meranthe.