Severance

[redzaru]

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Severance

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Often, in my middling years, I was questioned.
For misdeeds? Trespasses? No.
I became accustomed to one, simple query:

Are you... happy?

I thought we'd leave together. "I like to think so."
  I shed no false tears, or                             
 I swallowed my pride. "I am not unhappy."                
 or   As end did draw near.     
I prayed I'd have died. "I simply do not smile."                   

They are all lies, I've told.
For I am a liar by nature, I've been told.
A serpent bearing a forked tongue.
A vile mimicry of a woman,
with a knife poised at the heart.

Is it true?

 "I do what I must."
"I have my own goal."    
"So fragile, your trust."       
"Poor, innocent foal."           

  "I'm happy. I wouldn't lie about that."    

 No. Of course not.
Why Should I Be Happy?                                                                      You're young.
You're full of life.                                                                   
                   I've Tortured Myself.

"They're all gone, you know."           They've Abandoned You.
"There's nothing left for you there."                          They're leaving.                                    Aren't you?                   No.
"It's time to come home."                                       And you're splitting at the seams again.

"Okay."                                                                                                                                                                               I want to run evermore.
                                                                            You'll find yourself back here anyway.                  Are you sure you want to keep running?

You don't tire of burning bridges.                      "Yes. Of course."                                You continue to play with hearts.
Is it satisfying?          "I do what makes me happy."                        "It's all I've ever known."

[redzaru]

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Agnosthesia

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(I fear I'm giving up the ghost.)

Lord, won't you lay me down?
Under the bridges I've built to burn
Beneath my cracked and tarnished crown.
Resting with the hearts I've let yearn

(I'm slowly rotting from within.)

She's been a dutiful daughter
You've watched her from her wake
The countless she's lead to slaughter
A thirst she sought to slake.

(My body's taken to a new host,)

I have harkened to your call,
I still sit with bated breath.
Tell me when I, if I, fall;
will you I see in death?

(I live a waking dream of sin.)