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The Hierophant
#1
"Then why don't you start deciding your own fate?"
    - The Fool.

I often ask myself, what is the first thing I remember?
If I were a Human, perhaps my response would be screaming.
Perhaps my response would be 'Family'.
Though, Family is a foreign concept for one such as I.
A gift I can never be granted.

No, I believe my first memory is one of instinct.
Hunger, curiosity - perhaps even anger.
The vestigial remains of that hunger and curiosity linger even now.
It is what drives me.
For when you are born with only instinct to guide you - it tends to linger.

""Fate is not the same as destiny.
It is decided by choices.
You can have multiple fates, but not one destiny."

-The Hierophant.

I have always had an inherent curiosity with the world.
With what binds me to it, what drives me -
How I tick. How others tick.
How can I not?

For when you are so accustomed to weaving webs -
Why would you not be curious of the webs of one's mind?

"I am not interested in fate.
If you seek answers - find your own."

    - The Emperor.

When one thinks of webs, they often do not think of what creates them.
A series of threads, interconnecting with one another.
Each thread specifically made in order to support the rest of the web -
Each thread made with a purpose.
The goal being?

To capture one's prey.

I often asked myself, what is the largest web I could construct?
What is the grandest set of threads I could obtain?
When I came to Meranthe - this is what I looked for.
The strongest thread I could obtain.
The strongest web I could build.

And soon; I found my answer.
Fate.
The future.
The past.
The present.

And what better way to manipulate it - than consuming the threads that create it.
The threads that made the larger web of fate itself.
It seemed daunting.
Yet, I felt like I had an idea.
... Until I saw it.

"Humans and demons aren't all that different."
- The Chariot.
A grand web,
A giant series of threads,
Of connections,
Of choices.

One doesn't just consume one piece of the web.
No, to devour fate; one must take small pieces of it -
Small sections of a grander whole -
 And construct the fate they seek as necessary.

My skull aches every time I see it.
Every time I sense it.
Every time I think about it.

So many choices - so many decisions -
It is maddening.

My goal feels so out of reach when I see it, and yet-
Every time I look into it, every time I see man continuing to exist in their ignorance?
I can't help but feel those emotions I felt when I first came to being.
Anger.
Hate.
Hunger.
...

Perhaps Humanity aren't the only bearers of ignorance, after all.
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#2
I told her we'd ascend together.
It was a nice thought.
At the time; it made sense to me.

I mean, my greatest ally -
My greatest asset -
Receiving a reward equal to the entertainment she brought.
Why wouldn't I try to follow through on that?
It made sense.

I have been told a fair few times that demons can't comprehend bonds.
I don't, in some ways.
I don't comprehend family.
My first memories are of eating my siblings.
My first memories are of trying to eat mankind.
My first memories are of selfish desires.
Hunger.

And yet; For so long, I've been angry.
Wrathful, over the loss of another.
Why the hel do I care?
Why the hel does it matter to me?

Ascending has only brought me more questions.
I am closer to imperfection.
Yet, the closer I grow -
The more I realize...
I understand nothing.

Fate truly loves mocking me.
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#3
Another day.
Another corpse.
Another failure.

Today, I witnessed death for the second time.
In a moment most strange; I found myself frozen.
Standing on the edge of Hel and Eternia.

I could see myself.
My own prophecy.
My own fortune.

'A spider of ignorance,
A spider of wrath,
A spider of sin,
The Hierophant,

The most blind of Fate's chosen.'

It infuriated me.
To be 'chosen' by the very force that I seek to devour.
To be 'chosen' by the very force that is sabotaging me.
To be 'chosen' by the very force that took them from me.

I am a demon.
I am His will.
I am His ascendant.
I am His force of nature.
I am His spider.
His weaver.

And yet; here I am.
Beaten.
Defiant of death, twice in a row.
All on this seemingly failing mission.

'Your bonds with them - a weakness.
Your loyalty to Him - a weakness.
You could be so much more.'

Was he right?
Was the aspect of disaster truthful?
I don't know anymore.

I do know, however -
That I am far too spiteful to let him kill me a third time.
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