Hoffman's Marketing Services

[emeritus]

HOFFMAN'S MARKETING SERVICES

Hello! I’m Israphel Hoffman and I’m so glad you’re reading this. Hoffman’s Marketing Service is the business of its kind on Meranthe. We specialize in getting the word out about things and people across the lands.

And well, by you reading it we’ve done our job!

We truly appreciate everyone who has supported our business, and now as of today we are ready to launch our first campaign, so let’s not wait any longer and meet the stars of the show!

The very first and Star of our initial release is: Vestele Omadithas

Vestele is a Faeborn and dreams of making it big in the world. Smart, kind, beautiful and understanding she is an extremely talented ballerina dancer. She hopes to one day be a household name for performers across Meranthe and kindly asks for your support in making this come true!

Secondly we have… Kaori!

Kaori is one of the many maids that live in Prospera. She is an Ooakmi and takes her job very seriously. Perhaps the next time you stop by you can hire her for her services? Just remember to always tip twenty percent, service workers deserve it!

Up next is… Ilathia!

Ilathia is the Minister of Defense at Prospera! She is extremely strong and possesses a strong sense of justice, while at the same time possessing a very feminine and motherly side.  She’s the type of woman who would scold you for trying to sneak into the cookie jar, and then give you two right after dinner.

And after her is… Metta!

Holy shit that the Imperfect Demon Queen Metta? Yes, yes it is. Here at Hoffman’s Marketing Service we venture far and wide, safe and dangerous. You know her as Meranthe’s number one super villain and I, Israfel Hoffman, am here to say that title fits her. 

VERY IMPORTANT INFORMATION

Up next we have someone who is not a star, but a blackhole:

LYCO CORBIN [Ezra]

Hoffman’s Marketing Services has no comment about Lyco Corbin.

We kindly ask that he pays the one-thousand coin he owes us.

Thank you.

After them is going to be… Iris Aubreen!

[ Due to technical difficulties no photo can be presented at this time, Hoffman's Marketing Services Appriciates your patience ]

Iris is an extremely caring woman who looks after those in need. She is easily one of the strongest people on Meranthe and fights for what she believes in, no matter what. A little known fact about her is that she is an extremely experienced Sommelier. If you’re looking for wine she’s the one to talk to!

And last but certainly not least, Melidoyla!

Her Djinn heritage makes her an exotic beauty. With long, fluffy wispy white tresses of hair she’s easily within the top ten attractive women of Meranthe. Not only that she’s extremely sociable, able to engage you in conversation and truly become entranced.

That folks is it for Hoffman’s Marketing Services First Release.

If you would like to support us, and more importantly then we are offering merchandise for you to buy.

All pillows are the size in the photo and are completely machine washable. Please remove the outer cover sleeve before washing. We recommend cold water on delicate, and then low and slow or air drying to prevent fading and shrinkage.

Please send Israphel Hoffman a message if interested in purchasing a high quality - human sized pillow of our esteemed clients!

IRIS AUBREEN PILLOW IS CURRENTLY DELAYED DUE TO TECHNICAL DIFFICULTIES, HOFFMAN MARKETING SERVICES IS OWNED AND STAFFED BY ORPHANS AND WE GREATLY APPRECIATE YOUR PATIENCE AS WE WORK ON FIXING THIS.

No refunds.

This disclaimer does not cover misuse, accident, lightning, flood, tornado, tsunami, volcanic eruption, earthquake, hurricanes and other Acts of God, neglect, damage from improper reading, incorrect line voltage, improper or unauthorized use, broken antenna or marred cabinet, missing or altered serial numbers, removal of tag, electromagnetic radiation from nuclear blasts, sonic boom, crash, ship sinking or taking on water, motor vehicle crashing, dropping the item, falling rocks, leaky roof, broken glass, mud slides, forest fire, or projectile (which can include, but not be limited to, arrows, bullets, shot, BB’s, paintball, shrapnel, lasers, napalm, torpedoes, or emissions of X-rays, Alpha, Beta and Gamma rays, knives, stones, etc.).

No license, express or implied, by estoppel or otherwise, to any Intellectual property rights are granted herein.

Hoffman Marketing Services (HMS) disclaims all liability, including liability for infringement of any proprietary rights, relating to use of information in this specification. HMS does not warrant or represent that such use will not infringe such rights. In fact, that’s a very strong possibility.

Nothing in this document constitutes a guarantee, warranty, or license, express or implied. HMS disclaims all liability for all such guarantees, warranties, and licenses, including but not limited to: fitness for a particular purpose; merchantability; non-infringement of intellectual property or other rights of any third party or of HMS; indemnity; and all others. The reader is advised that third parties may have intellectual property rights that may be relevant to this document and the technologies discussed herein, and is advised to seek the advice of competent legal counsel, without obligation to HMS. In other words, get your own #$^%#$ lawyer before you hurt yourself.

These materials are provided by HMS as a service to his friends and/or customers and may be used for informational purposes only. Single copies may be distributed at will since it is unlikely that HMS created this material independently as he has no creative skill.

TRADEMARK INFORMATION: HMS and the HMS logo are registered trademarks of HMS.

HMS's trademarks may be used publicly with permission only from HMS. Fair use of HMS's trademarks in advertising and promotion of HMS products requires proper acknowledgment. If you use HMS’s trademarks without HMS’s express approval, he will get really pissed off.

*All other brands and names are property of their respective owners.

OWNERSHIP OF MATERIALS: Materials are copyrighted and are protected by worldwide copyright laws and treaty provisions. They may not be copied, reproduced, modified, published, uploaded, posted, transmitted, or distributed in any way, without HMS's prior written permission, which is freely granted as long as you take HMS’s name off in some lame attempt to either hide the materials origin or in the hilarious belief that the receiver of this material will think that you created it on your own, or somehow will think you more clever and intelligent that you really are. Except as expressly provided herein, HMS does not grant any express or implied right to you under any patents, copyrights, trademarks, or trade secret information. Other rights may be granted to you by HMS in writing or incorporated elsewhere in the Materials.

DISCLAIMER: THE MATERIALS ARE PROVIDED "AS IS" WITHOUT ANY EXPRESS OR IMPLIED WARRANTY OF ANY KIND INCLUDING WARRANTIES OF MERCHANTABILITY, NON INFRINGEMENT OF INTELLECTUAL PROPERTY, OR FITNESS FOR ANY PARTICULAR PURPOSE. IN NO EVENT SHALL HMS OR HIS SUPPLIERS BE LIABLE FOR ANY DAMAGES WHATSOEVER (INCLUDING, WITHOUT LIMITATION, DAMAGES FOR LOSS OF PROFITS, BUSINESS INTERRUPTION, LOSS OF INFORMATION) ARISING OUT OF THE USE OF OR INABILITY TO USE THE MATERIALS, EVEN IF HMS HAS BEEN ADVISED OF THE POSSIBILITY OF SUCH DAMAGES. BECAUSE SOME JURISDICTIONS PROHIBIT THE EXCLUSION OR LIMITATION OF LIABILITY FOR CONSEQUENTIAL OR INCIDENTAL DAMAGES, THE ABOVE LIMITATION MAY NOT APPLY TO YOU. HMS further does not warrant the accuracy or completeness of the information, text, graphics, links or other items contained within these materials. HMS may make changes to these materials, or to the products described therein, at any time without notice. HMS makes no commitment to update the Materials. In other words, if you screw it up, you’re on your own.

U.S. GOVERNMENT RESTRICTED RIGHTS: The Materials are provided with "RESTRICTED RIGHTS." Use, duplication, or disclosure by the Government is subject to restrictions as set forth in FAR52.227-14 and DFAR252.227-7013 et seq. or its successor. Use of the Materials by the Government constitutes acknowledgment of HMS's proprietary rights in them and excludes him from ever having to pay income taxes ever again, along with assigning the rights of King of Meranthe to HMS to use as he sees fit.

Copyright © 0-2100 HMS. All rights reserved.

[Mouse]

Near the Hoffman Industries house, once known as the "Inn Sect", and even more recently known as "Orphan Manor", a small note would be found attached to the sales cart near the porch. An oft travelled area, it would likely be seen by anyone who passed by. Though as to why exactly the owners, specifically a very depressed-looking goblin, felt such a need to hang such a bizarre note up is anybody's guess, really.