Free Therapy!!!!

[Malek]

Dr. Fauste is in the Hauste!!!!!!!

Several fliers are haphazardly pinned to notice boards across most major settlements, and dumped on the floor in forests. Usually pinned together is a little leaflet listing offered services, and a larger second page with more details.

DETAILS:

Hello. I am Fauste. You may have seen me observing you from within the bushes across several civilized areas. I am a travelling scholar, merchant, and in some respects I am a doctor under some definitions. You can trust me. 

Within my year (I think that's how long it's been...) seeing the sights of Meranthe, performing market analysis (watching you shop from various hiding places), I've come to realize what is sure to be in high demand in this lovely land. Therapy.

In addition, I am attempting to write a book on the meaning (or lack thereof) of life. For this I would like to interview people of differing cultures, states of undeath, artificial intelligences, animals too if they are capable of speech.

If you're worried, I'm a newcomer to these lands and have no allegiances. I don't care about any of you yet, so I have no reason to treat you poorly.

If you're worried for me and what might happen if I speak to your enemies (Awwwww), I have the following reasons as to why I'm safe:

-No allegiances, no money, no loved ones. There is no reason to kidnap or rob me, unless you want more of these fliers.

-No one will notice if I die, I wouldn't even be alive to care. It is a net zero on reality.

-My organs and muscles are deteriorated to the point where if you wish to use my body for fleshcrafting or necromancy, using animals is more efficient.

-If you wish to eat me, you would expend more energy killing me than you would gain through my consumption. Additionally, I do not taste good. I've tested this myself and it has been peer reviewed. While there are some cooking techniques which make me quite delectable, I will not be sharing these with you for my own safety.

In short, there is no reason to harm me, it is a waste of your time and energy. I can not be killed in a way that matters.

Therapy:
I will provide an ear for you to release your worries into, taking notes on your struggles and worries, and if nothing else comforting you with soothing aroma and nods. If you would like, I am happy to propose solutions to your problems as well. Couples therapy is an option as well, I come ready with a paper bag in case I need to vomit. I will not tell anyone anything you tell me during a therapy session. Please let me take your anguish and existential emptiness from you.

Philosophy:
Do you believe the world might be better- that people might be happier, if they adopted your lifestyle, thoughts, or religion? If so you don't have to ask for therapy, the diagnosis is narcissistic personality disorder Then I would like to test the strength of your beliefs in an interview. Your answers to hard hitting questions will be recorded in a philosophical almanac that is sure to be of historical significance (or it might not be, but the possibility should entice you). Who knows, maybe your proselytizing will convince me to live as you do, or follow your god. I'm sure that matters to you for some reason.

Here are some sample questions from my previous interviews so you know what to expect:

-What to you is the reason for your existence? Be it in a general sense, or the personal meaning you derive from living.

-How do you cope with the erasure of your identity upon death? Even if your god will welcome you into his afterlife, the you that I speak to is essentially dead.

-No offense - But if you can't justify your life without appealing to baser instincts or emotions, what separates you from just another animal? Do your mental faculties separate you from them in terms of moral consideration if they can't even explain why that is the case? Would it be immoral for me to kill you and feast on your heart as I would enjoy a pork dinner? Do I have your permission to test this out? Do I even need your permission? If you truly value kindness, could you save me the energy and die by your own hand so I can enjoy the meal maximally? Again, no offense. This question is purely academic in nature.

* As there have been two references to cannibalism in this flier, I feel it prudent to clarify that I do not eat people. They do not taste good and aren't of sufficient nutritional value. All of this is academic.

Mail Fauste in game or message malekou on discord for a sceney