[Lammy]

 

"He doesn't talk much, does he?

Almost like the cat got his tongue.

He also doesn't smile a lot either..."

 

"Elys smells like cheese!"
 

"I swear I thought I spoke a thousand words already, why do I have to say more?

I already figured this answer out a thousand times, why are we on the same subject?

What do you mean mom wants to give us a gift? I have everything I have, right here... I'm happy?

Oh... Cordelia wants to be the next Stellus? I hope that she does; I have my goals: to be the next high keeper.

...

 

"Are you going to say... anything?"

"I... did? I spoke so much, I just wish you heard me."

 

"Say something, brother. No reason to be shy."
 

"Maybe I need to speak louder..."

[Lammy]

  

I will never understand humanity and their variant ideals of how life works. There are so many different thoughts that go to the basis of what it was like to live, and what it was like to worship as well, and I sit here just pondering a simple question: why?

Why do some chase eternity, to live forever and choose staganancy? Why do we chase these acts of relationships when they can only bring forth pain? Why are we scared to let the stars decide?

When Elias left, I didn't know why I felt pain. When I told my true thoughts to Mellow, I don't know why I felt sorrow.

And now, when I am alone in the depths of the night, the only thing I feel isn't peace of mind or the enjoyment of being alone like I used to.

... and frankly, my dear diary, I don't feel much of anything rather than the little moments of disappointment within my actions, and ponder why I would even dare continue to walk toward the path of being the next Stellus.

I even failed to bring in an occultist, and all they desire to do is hunt those that break the immoral act of trying to live forever; it bothers me that they don't do it for the betterment of mankind, but simply because they don't want them to be.

But as long as they are doing what needs to be done, I should be happy with it, right? Then why do I feel so empty and null? Why don't I find the single enjoyment in the things that I used to do, but only find those little moments to be filled with shame?

Why do I feel sad that I am taking over what my sister wanted, and why do I still feel alone and dark in a city full of light?

These thoughts, these emotions, they are so strange, and the more that I let them fester, the more that I think of exploring the different side of light with my own eyes, but I could never do that...

I have a duty to these people, and a duty to the family that raised me, and no matter what road I take to move forward and to make my family proud, I'll do it.

But it gets tiring... very tiring.

I will only continue to go forward with what the stars allow me to do, and I will aim to make the right choices with their wisdom. I made my oaths, and even though the Oathbreaker broke them, I won't fall down that line.

Maybe my only fear, diary, is that one day I will walk away from you like I walked away from so many others.

Life, very interesting.

Life, I am scared of exploring.

[Lammy]

Isn't it sad that we forget where we came from? The people that were lost? The wars that we had against them?
People want peace, they want 'change'. They want to be the New Generation that brings about that change, but did they forget how to do it?
You get it when you earn it. You get it, when you have done years of service, reach the pinnacle of your career, to be a leader, to bring that change.
Clearly, when heads are in the clouds, and their mind drifts, that they would forget what is needed to bring peace, and how important it is to be able to shed blood.
Because that is when true peace comes.
 
Word only changes when action follows.
With actions, opposition that will not understand.
When opposition fails to understand, that is when you strike like a Lion, to strike at them, to ruin them, to force them to see reason.
There is a reason that in the Jungle and in the Stars, that the Lion is the one who leads, ready to strike, ready to kill if necessary to bring about their peace.
That is when peace reign, when the opposition surrenders, when they bend the knee.

Hic sunt Leones.
Or... that was in the past.
The future? I never seen it more darker.

[Lammy]

"Grandpa, have you heard the news?"

  

"I have."

 

"What do you think?"

 

"Well... sit down, let me tell you a simple story about your Great Grandmother, Tara. And I.

Years ago, when I was in my teen years, I met a dashing woman that I loved very much - still do to this day.

Every day, we would meet, and we would enjoy that love together very much! No matter the situation, after a long day, we met.

But there was one little issue... you see."

 

"What was the issue?"

  

"She worked with the Docros. I was a priest of the faith, destined to be the next Stellus.

This got me into a lot of trouble... mother was mad, father was happy - but the people of the order?

They cursed my name, spat on me, every time that she did wrongdoing, I suffered, but I stayed.

But I never left."

 

"No matter how much sense it would have made, I never left Osrona; I didn't leave for love.

I didn't leave when the higher-ups spat on my name.

I didn't leave when they charged me for things that I didn't do.

I never left when the Peace-Patrol boycotted and didn't attend the war, even if I didn't agree with it.

I stayed, I did my duties, because I am a man of Osrona; I am a man of the crown."

 
"This is the same mindset I gave Claramonde, Tessa, and Talia - but you already know the story of her.
So to see that those teaches started to fade, started to wither, started to become transitory with history, it hurts.
Maybe I wasn't there to teach them like I wanted to?
But, I can't afford another Talia; heavens no."

"But I will tell you this..."
 
"I no longer see them as family."

"I don't see them as Gardios."

"I see them as Vanreths.
Future Necromancers; descendants of Nidaz.
I disown them, all of them that show dissent."

[Lammy]

"What is death, Elys?"

 

The old cat takes his precious time with a cane in hand walking with his sister and those that came before him to the family bench.

The echo chamber that is his mind constantly asks such a heart-wenching, sad question.

What is death?

 

"It depends on what you believe. However, I think it's fair that we look into the good book to describe what death is. Don't you think, Priscilla?"

 

The withered pages of an old, brown book, the Codex Cosmos, opening up to the page that describes death -- but he never reads it. He leaves it open so that the ohers can point at it and realize why it is neccessary. Even if sad, it is something that everything must face eventually when they walk upon Eternia with mortal flesh.

 

"People see death as an end. I see it as a way to finally move on and try again. I was asked this once, years ago, what death was, and I think I have an answer."

 

"Death is the saddest part of a song before it comes to an end. Death is the saddest thing we face as we get older and realize that we will see more death than life. Death is the conclusion to every wonderful story that follows when nothing else can be told. Death is liberation from the self and to be a part of something whole."

 

"We are all born to die eventually, some sooner than others. Some stories do not get the chance to be told and some stories are written too far and never want to see an end. Those that are scared of this end, never are able to write the perfect story, for they fear what comes after, because of the lost faith."

 

"I know that when I join the cosmic order of things upon my demise, my duty will never end. I know that when I die, I will come back when I am needed the most, with my memories gone, with a new power in me. This is the cycle that we go through, of life, death, reincarnation as was the grand design -- yet people want to disrupt this."

 

"It's... silly, isn't it?"

 

Every wave that washes amongst the sand must rejoin with the sea eventually.

Every soul that inhabits a body must return to the stars someday, even if it is by force.

Even the primordials above are capable of dying -- why do you think they shy away from the potential that man can do?

 

"It has been a long, long life. I have given to the world my best of children, and they have given themselves children and the like. In the Gardios line, Sigismund was able to reach the title of saint. He is everything that I wanted to be, and if I wasn't born with faults, then perhaps I would have achieved it in my own accord, but... this is fine."

 

"I prefer this, truly."

 

The book closes with the wind, and a wonderful silence comes.

 

"Goodnight, Eternia. Tomorrow will be better."
  

FIN.
1830 - 1915