[Scheiße]

Hello, nerds.

                                                       

If you have received a copy of this letter, you will have this distinct pleasure of being held near and dear to my heart. You'll also have the unfortunate burden of knowing that I have left this realm and joined my mother in the next.

                                                       

A few years later after her death, I thought it would be appropriate to make preparations in case some goon somewhere shot me in the head. Killing Bruno pyr Aertas makes me a target across Esshar (even though I'm already a hot commodity) and, well, I wouldn't be me without having the final word.

                                                       

As for my funeral, let it be known that I want all of you to cry over my casket. Then, I want all of you to fight each other for my miscellaneous belongings. And finally, I want one of you to fall on my casket and beg for me to not go.

                                                       

With that out of the way, the Will and Testament of Xenia pyr Docro is as follows:

To my boyfriend, Vitus

Is it premature to call you the love of my life? I'm fond of the dramatics but I'm only twenty-one. Whatever.
                                                       
In your chest,  I've left several of my most valuable belongings. They will do much to aid you in creating a one-of-a-kind weapon. Since you are my most loyal and dedicated fan (next to Guinny), it only seems fair that you would name this weapon after me. Every invocation of magic through this weapon will bear a piece of me. And then, it will be like I never left you in the first place.
                                                       
Go on and be the kind of tinkerer that will make me proud, lover boy.

To my best friend, Guinevere

Hi Guinny! I love you!!!
                                                       
I want you to know that you always have a place in Achyon. Osrona is full of awful zealots who struggle to mimic your kindness. For the years of indentured servitude you've given me, all of which has been full of good memories, I've left for you. . my weapon, Discordacne. For a mage like you, it isn't much but-- that's a lie. It's a lot. It's the only piece of my mother that Achyon allowed me to keep. Put it up somewhere so you'll always have a reminder of me nearby and all the joy I brought to your life.
                                                       
I love you, babe.

To my brother, Alexei
You suck ass. Seriously. Who the fuck ditches their adorable sister to get with an occultist? We were supposed to conquer and divide Starfall Academy, you dick!

                                                       

Regardless, I understand. With everything that happened, I made life hell for you when it wasn't even your fault. I mean, sure, you stopped supporting my interests way before Bruno killed our mom because you have Daddy's outdated thinking. And yes, you certainly made every effort to put me down and belittle me because I threatened your success.
                                                       
But, this isn't about that. This is about me and what I want for you to do now that I'm died.
Go snort a lot of Sylvanum.
Then, take control of the Docro Family as Don.
Increase drug traffic across Esshar tenfold.

Do it for me. Be the Kingpin that I could never be.

To the Loire Kids
Yes, you three get one whole letter to remember me by!
                                                       
I want to start off by saying that Fennel has chronic bad breath that should get fixed before it winds up killing Violet.
I should also note that Alois is a fat loaf who never writes or talks to me who needs to get a hobby, get some friends, and get a life!
Finally, Rosemarin. You're so stinking adorable! Caster made the right choice to wife you up!
                                                       
You three were some of my only friends during Starfall Academy. Even if you all made fun of me because I was better than you, you kept me company and more than that-- you kept me grounded. Thank you from the bottom of my heart for being the heart of my fanbase long before Guinevere and Vitus took over.
                                                       
Wishing you three the best. Forever and always.

To my father, Ryker

I want you to know that I forgive you for all of the very misogynistic things you held against me. In a few years from now, when I'm just a distant memory you cling to whenever you start withdrawals, another Docro girl will come along wanting to take the helm. It's up to you to challenge her and guide her as you tried to do to me.

                                                    

I love you, Daddy. I'm sorry you and I could never see eye-to-eye after you nearly killed me in the middle of Achyon. I'd like to think that you did it because you weren't in your right mind but, when are you?

                                                       

Keep on keeping on. Even when it feels unbearable. Make both me and mom proud.

To Niffty

Girl, you've done it again. Constantly raising the bar for us all and doing it flawlessly.
I would say I'm surprised. . but I know who you are.
I've seen it up close and personal.
Girl, you make me so proud. And I love you.

Individual letters were sealed with a glossy imprint of her lips and delivered by a courier pigeon with an attached copy of her general statement.