~Aoria-sama~Enlightenment.
#1
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Inside of the cos Salis residence, there is a book that sits within the desk of young Ulfric cos Salis's bedroom. The book look recently forged and created, made by hand. It has a leather cover, skillfully bound to sheets of plain white paper.  On the front of the book, the words 'Ulfric: Enlightenment' are written neatly on the front in black marker.

Quote:
Year: 1756AC. 1st quarter.

I am slowly losing my mind. The world around me is ever changing, and I feel as if I am staying the same.  I see my friends who are capable of changing the entirety of Esshar, losing motivation and doing nothing. I see others who used to be so happy and friendly, becoming dark and secluded. Yet here I am, unmoved and unchanged. My goals have stayed the same since I could remember. To bring honor to my family's name. To be a protector of Nysea.

Only now things are different.

The new queen has issued us all to leave Nysea because of this war. I understand the safety of our people is most important, but leaving the only home I have ever known? It's been hard. I am surrounded by people of Myllenoris that I don't know- people that I have a hard time trusting. To distract myself I have been throwing myself into my studies. Attempting to get the hang of holy magic, and opting to offer my assistance in helping Anastasia. She's planning something big- something that could sway the outcome of this war. I am with her all the way on this, and am prepared to lay my life down for my home. 

I will show Hiero I am not afraid to take the steps forth needed to accomplish my goal.

I've been praying to the stars for a sign. Will they hear me cry?

Anyways. I will continue to worry about the friends I fear going in the wrong direction of life, and I will do my best to change their perspectives....But I also have to think of what's best for my family and Nysea. My dear sister, Emily, as feisty as ever. She will need to be protected from the scary reality of Esshar we've been plopped into. I will protect her....Since my father isn't here to do it. I have to be the man of the family now.

I have to keep them all safe.



-Ulfric cos Salis.


P.S-  Emily stole 9,000 coins from my chest.
Stars give me strength and remind me, 
to protect her and not harm her myself.
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#2
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There seems to be a new entry within the journal of Ulfric cos Salis. It seemed to be a far in between occurrence, yet the entry is larger. Perhaps the reason for this would be explained inside. The handwriting is a bit sloppy, as if written in haste. Emotion.


Quote:Year: 1758 AC. First quarter.


What's the cost of protecting the ones you love? It isn't merely injuries, it's something deeper. Especially when you are unable to succeed, and get your ass handed to you. I know this from experience, unfortunately. My sister's behavior is questionable, as are her ignorant decisions. I saw her with him, one of the ones who'd tried to rob me as a child within Nysea's walls.  I lost my cool, and I may have went about handling it the wrong way. At that time, all I saw was someone dangerous with my sister. I acted out of my mind. Told him not to put a hand on my sister, which only prompted him to pull her hair. When he did that though? I lost it. I attacked him. All of the control I worked so hard for gone to waste, because all I wanted in those moments? Was to rid the world of this vile person who had tugged ant-agonizingly at my sisters hair.

I blamed her for my injuries. I yelled and screamed at her, called her an idiot. Was it really her fault? No. It was mine. I had no right to put that blame on her. Because of my actions I will suffer with phantom pain in my right arm, for the rest of my life. Even if it had been repaired as best as it could be.  A lesson learned.

The pain of losing my father overwhelms me sometimes. No, he isn't dead. But honestly? It feels like he is. He abandoned his children for his duties abroad, and sometimes I forget I am not the only one hurting. I am so sick of this constant weight on my shoulders to fill his shoes. To protect our family, provide. But as Emily told me, it's not my responsibility to be a father. All I can do is be the best brother I can be- which means apologizing when I am wrong...And I was, wrong.  So I told Emily that, and for once? I saw her at her weakest. I saw my sister cry, and express false hope that one day, he will return to us completely.

Fucking hell. She told me that maybe if she earned enough money selling potions and helping support us, our dad would come back and retire. I had never wanted to cry so bad in my life. In those moments, I could barely hold my composure. All I could do was hug her. I didn't have the heart or strength to tell my sister, that none of that mattered....

Our father is gone.

It's a shame, but I am coming to terms with it. I've been focusing on my goals. One of which, have been accomplished. I am officially a knight of the First Light. I've been working my entire life toward this goal, and there's nothing more fulfilling than reaching that goal. My drive to protect has become more refined, and less impulsive. Patience. I've learned patience.  I continue to spar with Philip and Twilly, even Emily. I learn of Myllenoris, it's culture and religion, from Kiastara. I have come to terms with where we are now, within Myllenoris. I've even come to enjoy it. 

My hope for Nysea is not lost. I am not lost.

Except when it comes to girls. When it comes to girls, I am indeed, lost. Only one girl interests me. Only one.

That's a whole other problem, entirely.


-Ulfric cos Salis
P.S.- Emily has paid me back all 9,000 
coins that she stole from me.
I'm surprised hell didn't
freeze over.
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#3
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Quote:
Year: 1759 AC. First quarter.

This past year has brought both pain and comfort. I once again, have found a wedge between my sister Emily and I. She's started dating Mo'Cha, I guess. Maybe I shouldn't have freaked out abut that, but, she is my sister still. She's too young to be dating. Not to mention Mo'Cha threatened to kill me, and she just let it slide! I'm not sure how much longer I can take her behavior. Perhaps I should just keep my distance. She will always be my sister and my family, but, we are just two very different people at this point....
Arianna. The girl who's interested me from the start. Not only is she beautiful, with her long red hair, and vibrant blue eyes? But she is a spitfire. She's got the attitude and sass to challenge anyone who gets in her way. A warriors spirit, a true and real spirit. Sometimes? I just find myself staring at her. Because when I stare at her? It's like none of my family and home life problems exist. We don't even have to be doing anything, we could just be sitting on a bench, and she'll call me a creep for staring at her.
But I just can't help it.  She kissed me. 
I finally got to have a run in with a couple of Barsburg soldiers. Mona Lockwood, which was a surprising thing to learn, was one of them. Avery, and a corporal by the name of Orion Izar. It honestly started as a pleasant conversation, when I didn't know who Mona was. Then two more showed up and it became not so pleasant. The corporal wanted to search me, and I told him no. I lied about who I was, gave them some bogus name, and told them I had no affiliations. Yet they persisted to search me. I had my badge on me..I couldn't allow them to search me. I tried to make a break for it, and I was faster than all of them, but one! Avery...
We ended up fighting, and he did something horrible to one of my kidneys...Something that will have lingering effects for the rest of my life...Yet, again. Two ailments to hold me back from my full potential. It's something I can handle, but it will take work, no doubt. When I got home my mother was in a fret, crying and crying. I can't stand it when any woman cries, but when it's my mother? Something inside me dies a little. Demios fixed me up, and Philip helped out as best as he could. I barely made it home alive...I could have been killed..

You wanna know what I thought about when I thought I was going to die? Arianna's face. Her smile. How whatever blooming feelings we have toward one another, would never come to full fruition. It's what encouraged me to run, and run fast. Even as my kidney felt like it was being burned from being so cold...
She told my mother she was my girlfriend, so that is what she will be to me.
My first girlfriend, among the craziness of my life.
Yet I feel so peaceful.
P.S.- I really need to look up a dieting
plan for Sir Newton. His weight is
getting out of hand.  I'm going to
need a pulley just to get him on
my lap soon...
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