CharonIs It Easy? -- Gabriel
#1
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[Image: tuxpi-com-1589247777.jpg]
Spring 1739 AC - Gabriel B.
Quote:Dear Journal,

I did it! For a moment I was afraid. . . really afraid that I wasn't good enough. I think living with this illness has opened doors that maybe would have been closed otherwise. . .what I mean by that is that maybe I would be a different person without it.

It's actually annoying though, I can't play for long like the other kids. . .  and even though I have the aptitude for a magi I still spend so much of my day bedridden. I want to scream and cry alot, but I promised Mom and Dad I wouldn't. Some days the pain is not so bad, other days it feels like there is a huge fire and my body is standing right in the middle of it. It makes it hard to sleep at night. . .but I don't want this journal to be about me complaining. Dad used to say that complaining wouldn't get you anywhere. So I haven't told many people about it. . . that I'm sick that is. I don't want them to think I'm frail, weak, and a complainer. 

I made a friend, or a few friends. One of them is Thorn and she has really sharp teeth. She is rather odd, and doesn't speak the way normal people do! It's actually through fire, weird blue flames. . .it was kind of scary at first but you can't judge a book by its cover. Thorn is also fast. . . alot faster than I am. She had a hard time finding me though, I think maybe I'm better at hiding than she is! I hope I get to play with her again before everything changes. An old man told me that war was coming to Osrona. I don't really understand what war 'feels' like, but I know from a few books that alot of people will die. Another boy Nicholas told me to run if I have the chance.  Everything changes when you talk about war or even mention it. The adults start to whisper, and look like they have a fever. Some look sad, some look angry, some people even look I don't know. . .it's hard to say; like they don't care or they care very little? Me? I'm scared. . . actually. Even if war comes it's not like I can run. . . I don't have the stamina like the other kids so maybe I can hide! Since Thorn had a hard time finding me I think if I just hide then even if the worse happens I can manage. 

Is that silly? Part of me wants to hide and the other part of me wants to fight with everyone else. I don't have much magic power to do anything so I don't know how I would help. Maybe war won't come. . .maybe everyone will talk everything out and when everything is finished people will relax. 
#2
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[Image: angels-2.jpg]
Spring 1739 AC - Gabriel B 


Quote:Dear Journal,

Do the angels and stars even listen? I've been in the church for a year, and studied hard. . .praying everyday. War has reached the city now, but it felt like everyone was fighting each other instead of worrying about the enemies. I'm scared. . .Nicholas was with me when we heard the king speak. I saw the Arch Priest, and so many others. . . but everyone was on edge, and yet someone tried to punch the king! I don't know anymore, maybe the old man was right. Maybe Osrona will fall. . . but why? We have tried to do nothing but help people. 

I also told Nicholas my biggest secret; that I'm chronically ill. He's pretty funny he said he was going to protect me but if Osrona falls. . .I don't want him to die. I don't want grandmother Elora to die either even though she says she will be fine. The Arch Priest made it seem as if the Teraphim want to kill the members of the church, or at least they are targeting us specifically. I've prayed now, more than ever before. Everyday even, while learning about how to be a good doctor from Grandma. I can't help anyone if I'm shaking right? So I pray even when I bandage some of the regular soldiers; the medics are taking care of the magi that are injured. I'm scared and I don't want to be. . . and angry. If the stars have so much power, if the angels are truly there for us why aren't they answering when we pray? Why is it so quiet in the church. 

Bernadette might lose her husband (the rest of the words appear smudged as if countless tears have fallen unto the ink, spoiling the writing and making the last paragraph unreadable. A shaky signature sits at the bottom.)



#3
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[Image: tuxpi-com-1589778552.jpg]
Summer 1740 AC - Gabriel B
Quote:Dear Journal,

What is a King? Today is my birthday and I want to know what a King is. . . and what makes them so special to be called king. The person that we call King of Osrona turned their blade against the people, the church, and even their knights today. The streets ran red with blood, some of the commoners didn't make it far. . .there was so much magic in the air that you could taste it. I was scared. The entire time I was shaking and terrified, and recently I haven't seen much of the Arch Priest. Until today. One minute they were asking us to be loyal to the king; the same king trying to kill us all. I know he was under the control of a witch but. . . .if the stars are guiding and protecting us then why didn't someone see this coming? Worse yet the Arch Priest was mumbling and talking to themselves while the streets were drowned in blood. I don't know anymore. . .forgive me angels for asking this but why did I join the church.

I know it was to help people, it was to work under the guidance of the stars and get closer to the angels. Yet the people I am supposed to help were the ones suffering the most today. Not by the hands of our enemies but by the hands of the royal blood! I'm so confused by this all. . .I'm confused and scared of what the future holds. Do we even have a future? Is it blasphemous for me to say that the Petrakins are not doing a good job? I know we make mistakes but every time one of the royal family speaks to the public something bad happens. . . we are trapped and surrounded on all sides. The common folk are dying in the hundreds, and they are talking about forgiving the king. I'm tired and conflicted. . . I will go to do my daily prayers after I write this. I can hear Brother Mattieu looking for me, there are so many injured. . . .so many dying. I'm going to do my best. I don't think I'm ready to forgive the King just yet. For the people I have to try and remain positive and help in anyway I can, or else the reason I put on this robe every morning means nothing. 
#4
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[Image: Tears-2.jpg]
1741 AC - Gabriel B.

Quote:
Dear Journal,

It's gone. . . . everything is gone. . . .Osrona burnt to the ground . . . I ran. . .tired. . .so tired. Mattieu he told me to keep running. There was a back door to the church. . . I heard so many brothers and sisters screaming. Everything hurts. . . .I kept running. My l Nicholas I'm sorry. . . Thorn I'm sorry. . . .I couldn't keep my promises. . . . .it hurts. . . .everything hurts. . . .
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