A Demon Chooses, A Servant Obeys

[Observing Future]

To Smile. I should. As I see the sun rise one last time.

I can only ponder, if it is beautiful on the other side, stranger.

I hope it is.

---

I find myself pondering over those last words. Of a mortal I never knew nor got to experience knowing. There was one last thing I had wished to convey in that moment, and yet the words hadn't quite struck until now. I wanted to add onto such thought, 'Garret Richter', Hope's Knight as one would call him. I wanted to say...

That there is no need to hope. You already know the answer.

And so I find myself once more pondering more on the nature of humanity. On the nature of Demons. An endless cycle that is refusing to yield me an answer.

Not being able to understand why life is more than the brief pursuit of pleasure?

Remain satisfied in your ignorance.

Just like you are dissatisfied with your lack of purpose.

I cannot be satisfied in my ignorance.

Bothersome. Meddlesome. Creatures. Obnoxiously persistent, be you one of the witches or warlocks of the coven. Be you one of the holier than thou knights. Be you but a thorn in my side.

So try and understand.

Feel the suffocating weight of such restrictions,

before you can even hope to glimpse the strength that comes with it.

It all leads back to one train of thought. One single inquiry; 

Why?

Xaevor was obsessed with the hunt, Stalker with its prey, Ba'kade with its meal, Lykon with its pride, Ingolf with its position. And I, with my vanity and amusement. We are not designed to coexist nor comprehend what humankind is nor how they perceive the world. The emotions within me are invasive, I have managed to suppress them, but no matter how oft I aim to convince myself otherwise, I do not understand them. I do not understand that mirth in watching a mortal make its decisions because of my words, because of my influence. I do not understand why my hand shakes, or trembles, whenever I am forced to bleed- with a sensation that is starkly different to excitement. I cannot fathom the itch that tells me I could be more. That there is not only an art to perfection, but a path I can pave towards it.

Why..?

We are the apex predators of the world. It matters not if we live or die, as even predators can be slain by stronger creatures if they are not cautious. Yet we can speak the human tongue, we can judge a human by its actions. We can, if we choose to do so, pretend to appeal to the mortal's sense of morality that they so heavily cling onto. Perhaps my approach has been wrong, brute force and candid words. For I take pride in what I am, for how many mortals I had culled for a meal or my amusement. For how many I twisted precariously between my fingers and drew their innermost desires from. Pride in my work, for what artist wouldn't appreciate the beauty they can lay to waste upon a canvas. Life is but a game, one that many seek to win, but I only desire to enjoy it. Savor every insignificant second of it, even to the day where a blade may cleave my head from its neck. As it already has once.

Why!?

If something works not for the first two decades, than why continue repeating it. My failures at picking apart humanity through my brute strength and candid words. My approach of candid pride in what I do, does not appeal to the human mind. They are selfish creatures, that wish to appear selfless. They are conflicted creatures, that wish to appear certain. They are guilt-ridden creatures, that seek to feel justified. Perhaps, therein lays my answer. I do not act selfless, for I am selfish. I do not act conflicted, for I am certain. I do not act guilty, for I am unrepentant. But what if that is why I fail to pick them apart. Because I am acting on a semblance of my pride to be as openly, beautifully demonic, as I should be.

Why...

I suppose I need to become a liar. This 'ascension' gives us the shape of the mortal man, and in such a way I should put it to use. How hard could it be to pretend to be human, oh yet I find such disastrously dull. I'll need to watch their mannerisms more closely, I'll need to learn how and when to cease my speaking and merely listen to them. Easing into the role sounds near impossible, and yet I know it is not. But I am not a Spider, nor a Serpent. Words have never been my specialty, brute force and scavenging have been. It has been long enough that I should look into learning new tricks, though, I cannot help but wonder...

My Lord, am I merely treading a path you've already taken?
Is my curiosity going to be rewarded, My Lord?

Or am I merely setting myself up for..

Disappointment.

I suppose only time will hold that answer.