declaration of mild, yet entirely unwanted, interest in the everyman-and-woman

[Dandeli]

ugh.

if i could free myself of worldly thought,
if i could detached from the dreams remembered,
long, lavish plans obscured by disillusionment,
then maybe i could escape.
i fear the end, i fear their frowning faces.
i fear what is inevitable; what will come to pass.
if not me, another. if not their tears, another's.
spoiling corpses are an element of nature.
nature's barbarism breeds listless loss,
her dreamers birth nightmare,
nightmare breeds malformed dreams,
it is a plague that hurts man,
it will always hunt man, a forever-stalking beast of night and day,
hidden beneath the rays of summer sun,
the gentle first winter snow,
and the autumn breeze.

tricking myself into thinking i owed the ever-spinning clock?
what a troubling waste.
constellations will be born,
contained worlds reduced to fractals,
and everything will be but a memory.

ugh.