My father's shadow

[Did I do that?]

        
I'm paradoxical...

Despite my desire to be happy,
I often dwell on thoughts that are adverse.

I don't like myself, 

but I enjoy the person I'm becoming.

Although I claim to be unconcerned, 

I actually care too much.

I have a strong need for attention,

yet I reject anything that comes my way.

I have protected,

 but at the cost of my own blood.

Although I have recovered,

 I have damaged my heart in the process.

I enjoy listening,

but avoid discussing my inner turmoil.

Anger.

I have been waging a war.

I'm drenched in agony and sadness.

The irony of it all: am I really angry?

I'm attempting to cultivate happiness,

but that in itself is a war.