The Colors that Never Come

[GSM]

it's been an era of confusion.
no doubt, exacerbated by mine existence.
it's difficult to say just how this era will go.
a coming darkness fills me with dread.
yet, did this era ever change, as i wrought it
i have done my best to right my wrongs.
to help the deserving where i may,
to enlighten those who simply are unaware,
to walk better paths in this new life.
but it is never enough, in all this time
i walk in a world marred by the sins i have committed.
yet, of many i've met, they have welcomed me.
like a sister, or mother, or mentor, or scholar.
i don't deserve the praise for being what i am
i don't know what i am meant to be other than me.
yet, is me a true definition, or is it a farce?
do i truly exist?
i hope i do not, or that it is changing
change...
i was borne of its aspect, and made of my own.
yet this aspect has defined me in ways you couldn't understand
i've chased, pursued, and enlightened myself on this aspect of self.
i've become everything that i am today.
and everything you are not
father, or what i would've called you in a past life.
sak'noth, if you still go by such a title
please don't hate me for what i've become.
i've embodied change, and become something distinct
i changed to be something you could never be
is this what you wanted
look me in the eyes.
STARE AT WHAT I AM
FATHER
IF I CAN EVEN DARE CALL YOU THAT
I AM NO SON OF THESE GODS
I AM NO SON OF ANY ONE BEING
I AM NO SON OF YOU
AND YOU COULD NEVER FUCKING IMAGINE
THE FEELINGS I FEEL NOW, AS I AM
I'M EVERYTHING YOU AREN'T
LOVED
KNOWN
REMEMBERED
RESPECTED
AND THAT WILL NEVER CHANGE NOW
I AM NOT BLOOD OF YOUR BLOOD
REMEMBER THIS UNTIL THE VERY DAY YOUR BREATH STILLS
i am no son of you, anymore.
and that is for the best.
i'm slipping i'm slipping my brain is cracking
i don't want to be here anymorei
i will be the light.