The Mercenary's Silver

[Callen200]

The days turn to months, months turn to years as my adventure always continues a mercenary for hire is what i called myself.. yet i feel different. Normally its what i would go by but after my Month talking with Rued i learned of things that changed me, to die with reason, to fight with reason, yet here i stand in my house alone and bored, Lokhos by my side and i feel complete yet something is lost.

Something is lost?

I feel complete yet after dropping my Mercenary job.. i thought i would be happy and i do, yet at the same time i feel empty, i thought my father set a path for me, to be like him and support our family back home with coins, but the words of Rued continue to beat in my skull, 'Die as Expendable' 'For your family to wait for a letter for it never to arrive'

So many words of Rued just continue to cause me to stay wake at night, i feel my shadow magic creeping around the room, illusions constantly showing me images of my family in pain due to my death.. but in the morning i stand here in the Kingdom dawning their armor and robes with.. Pride.. Pride? its strange to once dawn the Mercenarys code. to never allign with a faction or place and yet here i am, its so.. different.

The kids all around me they.. love me? but do i love them back? to think im just a simple Sword user yet they.. tell me they love me and im their best friend..

Doubts

Why do the kids want to love me? can't they see if they grow with me.. if i die they will hurt.. just go away.. don't build a bond with me for once i am gone.. its only going to Rip like flesh, the pain won't leave as you Mourn my death.. but at the same time i fail, my mental state causes me to tell them that i love them, even if i hesitate to do such words.


So here i lay in my house.. next to the kingdom and water my crops, fish from time to time and have people around me that.. enjoy my company? its so strange yet i feel.. Different, without a Mercenary Gig keeping me flowing i feel so different but i suppose its what my Dad wants, for me to forge my own destiny, i feel so strange, dawning armor of a Kingdom i barely know yet.. complete all the same, we fight the Fel, and lokhos is right next to me, i should feel happy and i do.. maybe it will take time to adjust but perhaps i need to calm down and water my crops or go see what the kids want, perhaps to play tag or something, So full of youth they are yet i am bound to see them happy.

Ah.. i should stop writing in this damn Diary and go outside.. i have things that need to be done and quests that need to be settled..

End of Journal Log 2100 AC