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The Colors that Never Come
#19
[… ah, isn't that better.]
[Some room to stretch the wings, the eyes…]
[Sights to see, people to watch, the living to behold.]
[Shrouded in an eternal dark, yet I believe it warm…]

[Sixteen years.]
[Sixteen years and I had not seen another in the flesh.]
[Only through mere… gatherings of broken essence.]
[Sinful dealings of the soul, by those who dare not know their folly.]
[… I am still not free.]

[This is still mine prison.]
[I forgot the purpose of the first prison, the confined space…]
[But as I see the expanse I am offered, I can see it.]
[My sins are still scratched upon the bars of this twilight cage.]
[It is in handwriting of mine own, pocked with blood from fraying nail-flesh.]

[Yet I am content.]
[… am I content?]
[The quiver of mine thorax remains unreleased, breaths still unable to be made.]
[This still silence remains my prison, my slumber, yet…]
[Am I awake, or dreaming?]

[I am awake.]
[Perhaps that is all the more terrifying, for some to know.]
[But I am the most fearful, for my soul itself hangs in the crosshairs.]
[This work is diligent, comprehensive… and pocked with chance of error.]
[Oh, if only things were so simple, if only he had not bound me to silence.]

[Perhaps, I would be free.]
[But this prison is my own make, and I will remain ensnared by my sins.]
[My soul awaits the catalyst of flame, yet I remain so afraid of it.]
[Would I die from this flame, would I be celebrated or mourned?]
[Would I even meet the others in Hel, I wonder..?]

[… I will not fade.]
[I made this promise when I fell to this terrible slumber, and I will uphold it.]
[Knowledge is meant to fade, but I cannot.]
[Stories must be told, histories must be explained, lives must be preserved.]
[I cannot allow this knowledge of mine to burn up and die with me.]

[I cannot die.]
[I knew this would happen all along.]
[When my hearts beat, when my nerves rattled, I knew it would be stilled.]
[Yet I marched onwards, until the church burned with me.]
[Perhaps I deserve this.]

[I should suffer.]
[Adrift in silence for a decade, left to slumber in lucidity, I nearly broke.]
[I thrashed against the gold chains, I raged against the fate I was given.]
[I watched, helpless, as my children, my disciples, my beloved, died and moved beyond me.]
[Would I be the only one to remember their names, too?]

[Remember me.]
[Please.]
[If I am to die for my hubris, if I am to lament eternity in my final moments…]
[I would like to remain as a memory, a name.]
[Like ambrosia to the lips, even if all I did was beget further tragedy.]

[Let me burn.]
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Messages In This Thread
The Colors that Never Come - by GSM - 06-12-2023, 04:32 AM
RE: The Colors that Never Come - by GSM - 06-29-2023, 02:06 AM
RE: The Colors that Never Come - by GSM - 07-03-2023, 07:59 PM
The Colors of Change - by GSM - 07-09-2023, 11:10 AM
The Colors of the Nascent Primordial - by GSM - 07-16-2023, 10:09 AM
The Colors of the Sons of Man - by GSM - 07-24-2023, 12:52 PM
My True Colors - by GSM - 07-30-2023, 10:17 PM
RE: The Colors that Never Comes - by GSM - 08-07-2023, 03:02 PM
The Ascendant's True Colors - by GSM - 08-14-2023, 12:52 PM
Thirteen - by GSM - 09-05-2023, 02:17 PM
An Ode to the Lost Piece of Me - by GSM - 09-20-2023, 12:21 PM
In Memoriam of Na'Ria, the Demon King - by GSM - 10-02-2023, 10:22 AM
to burn to emerge to burn to emerge to burn to emerge to burn to emerge to burn to em - by GSM - 12-19-2023, 04:26 PM
luke 20:36 - by GSM - 01-04-2024, 08:06 AM
i am not blood of your blood - by GSM - 01-09-2024, 01:21 PM
i am no son of you - by GSM - 01-23-2024, 02:59 AM
repent lament - by GSM - 02-22-2024, 06:00 PM
melancholic misanthropy - by GSM - 03-19-2024, 12:49 PM
hadal self-reflection immersed in change - by GSM - 03-25-2024, 05:30 PM
imperfect paradise - by GSM - 05-02-2024, 11:32 AM
gone angel - by GSM - 08-07-2024, 04:50 PM

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