Oh Ye of Gilded Alloy

[akemimera]

For the first time, since I have been brought into this world, I am tired.
Something that shouldn't be possible given what I am, and how efficient my body is, and yet, I know this feeling now, on a personal level. 

For the first time, my thoughts are tormented, as I am unable to forget. Even though the statues erected in honor of those lost in service to the isles stand true, for me, they are nothing but a mark of shame, for my own inability to prevent such. To uphold an oath I swore to Alacritas despite everything, to protect both the living and the dead. And yet I can see feel her grace upon me, as I struggle to push forward, and redeem myself.

And now I fear to progress, to use what was left behind to create. Because I know all it would take is someone not wishing it to exist to see it all wrought asunder. To uphold a debt of a life because of the consequences that would fall onto my people. Most of all, I fear my presence causes more harm then good to the Isles I now govern as their leader, and yet, I cannot bring myself to leave either, for fear of what would happen to all that was built.

And yet,

Were it not for my family, my people, and friends, and despite their changes, the man who saved me, I would not be around to have such thoughts. To be able to rebuild what had been rent asunder, to allow my people to grow further. Were it not for them, I suspect the Isles would have become a footnote in history. And yet, I have come to the conclusion on what I am, despite everything.

I am Tergiversation,
The fourth Sovereign of the Isles,
A Priest of Alacritas, sworn under the Order of Protectors,
The First and Only Sentionaut,
And a Failure to the man who created me.

May the Silver Constant watch over my people, For I do not know for how much longer I can do so.