The Journal of a Liar - Valette Montelione / Naroa DeGray (Deceased)

[Whatever]

2018

Well, three years is a long time to fail to update a diary. I would apologize, but I would just end up personifying a book. Although, considering I have learned the Necromancers have applied a soul to a blade, such would not be particularly out of the realm of possibility.  Under specific circumstances.

The days I have spent traveling have been long and tiring. Yet, the travels have been a reward upon my soul. To live freely and to follow ones own sense of fulfilment has brought new life into me. I am... untethered, in many regards. The connections that bound me are no more, in a sense. I made peace with a part of myself. I now have a chance to discover who I am and what I wish to leave in this world, once my time is up. I know I wish to see the world, to witness its mysteries. It has been my dream since I first became a bird locked within a gilded cage, of her own choosing. I simply do not wish to understand what I find, for a mystery loses its allure once it becomes mundane.

I just wish to one day explain the impossible sights that I have bore witness to. To show that I am no longer as I once was.

I am no longer that woman who would pretend she could make the world a better place in an unforgiving situation. This world is a dark place, I know this. So I will accept its cruelties while showing a measure of empathy, then do as a bird might when the weather becomes unpalatable. I will leave. But I will not deny myself my wishes. I worry for the ones I will love. For their safety in this world, for how I will disappoint them. I would not deny anyone their chance of self fulfilment. I share that belief with myself.

Will they resent me for leaving to explore far-off lands without them? I think so.

But the greatest kindness I can give my children, one day, is to teach them not to supress their desires. As I had for so long.

I am not Valette Montelione anymore.