It seemed I was not the only one hiding my true nature, in some ways. Rapheal did not refuse me, at least outwardly. To him, as he states, I am the sister he has always known. Those words should bring me peace, but the way they are spoken is so uncharacteristic of who I knew. I would show concern, but do I have any ground to stand on? He showed me who he really is, beneath the layers he would use to hide. I should be thankful for that - I did thank him.
But in my minds eye I cannot help but picture Samandriel and his eventual betrayal. Can we ever truly know anyone? Even those we had grown up with...
Mephisto on the other hand had an outcome I saw coming. She had lived for so long, desperately clinging to the hope that she can keep this family together, despite our numerous losses. To learn the sister she had known for most of her life was an imposter who had stolen from her family and to then realize that the only blood sibling you had left was your brother could not have been easy for her to cope with. All she has left is Rapheal and her cousins. I know she is experiencing emotional turmoil beneath her logic and reasoning. No small part of me wanted to comfort her.
But I am scared to dare try.
I left her with a promise that if she reached out I would respond. It is all I felt I could do. Maybe she can forgive me. Maybe she will want my head. There are parts of Mephisto that can perhaps be considered cruel, but never towards those she considered to be family. Of which I have just committed a self ostracization from. I just do not know anymore which way the winds will blow.
I am sorry for all of this...
Until I am sure they can accept me I will have no recourse but to limit my presence in Aphros. Mephisto has to grieve and come to terms with what I told her. To provoke her with my presence may only result in tragedy. Although, abandonment may create an equal response. If she writes to me I will answer, but... I'd be remiss to not consider that Ignorance may in fact be bliss. Did I do the right thing? Was it a kindness or a cruelty I shared? It all seemed so clear, until the moment itself arrived. I just don't want to deceive them anymore.
But in my minds eye I cannot help but picture Samandriel and his eventual betrayal. Can we ever truly know anyone? Even those we had grown up with...
Mephisto on the other hand had an outcome I saw coming. She had lived for so long, desperately clinging to the hope that she can keep this family together, despite our numerous losses. To learn the sister she had known for most of her life was an imposter who had stolen from her family and to then realize that the only blood sibling you had left was your brother could not have been easy for her to cope with. All she has left is Rapheal and her cousins. I know she is experiencing emotional turmoil beneath her logic and reasoning. No small part of me wanted to comfort her.
But I am scared to dare try.
I left her with a promise that if she reached out I would respond. It is all I felt I could do. Maybe she can forgive me. Maybe she will want my head. There are parts of Mephisto that can perhaps be considered cruel, but never towards those she considered to be family. Of which I have just committed a self ostracization from. I just do not know anymore which way the winds will blow.
I am sorry for all of this...
Until I am sure they can accept me I will have no recourse but to limit my presence in Aphros. Mephisto has to grieve and come to terms with what I told her. To provoke her with my presence may only result in tragedy. Although, abandonment may create an equal response. If she writes to me I will answer, but... I'd be remiss to not consider that Ignorance may in fact be bliss. Did I do the right thing? Was it a kindness or a cruelty I shared? It all seemed so clear, until the moment itself arrived. I just don't want to deceive them anymore.
![[Image: dOmPfIR.png]](https://i.imgur.com/dOmPfIR.png)