Life and Death

[Deuteragonist]

In the prologue, the Chorus introduces the story of Faustus to the readers. He is described as being "base of stock."

-  ???

Those who speak at a funeral service are often tasked with writing remarkably about unremarkable people. I do not envy their job. Really, if they were honest, they'd say something like, "John lived a humble life, swearing about his neighbors under his breath, buying his favorite dish once a week from the local restaurant, and engaged in idle chatter with his coworkers," but they never do. John was the nicest man everyone knew, just like everyone else who had a service that day. John was even a father, a son, a husband, like everyone else was too, but these things are special, right now. It must be harder than it looks. But they make it look so easy. At a funeral, when I listen, even if I was with the person everyday, it feels like I'm learning something new, every time.

People are so good at their jobs. Could I ever be that good?

but you know what else i wonder?
where is a retainer buried, when they die?
with the others?

---

There are a lot of times when I start to think bad stuff, and it gets hard to stop, but that's why I spend all my time not working doing something I really do like. I love to read, and I love to go to plays, and it's awesome, because I could never afford it before, so it's just another thing to thank them both for.. My favorites are probably either The Phantom and the Goosegirl or The Penny King. Have you seen either of them? The second one's the play where the king sells his crown to an orphan, and then, he becomes a better king than the original. And then the first is the one where a normal girl dresses like a countess and everyone is stunned by how graceful and charming she is. There's this important connection between seeming and being. We all become what we pretend to be.

I've been reading about it, and it's psychology, get it? You dress a pauper in fine clothes, people treat them like nobility, and they rise up to the expectations. Well, that's only the littlest piece of it. The truth is deeper than that. It's like...No, listen. I've got it now. You meet a girl. Then, you tell her she's pretty, and she'll think you're sweet, but she won't believe you. She'll think like, oh, he just thinks that.. And sometimes, I guess, that's enough. But there's a better way! You show her she's pretty. It's hard, real hard, but when she really really believes you...Suddenly, the story she tells herself in her own head changes. She transforms. She isn't seen as pretty. She is pretty, seen. I'm not making any sense yet, am I? Sorry - guess I'm so pent up, I ramble when I actually get a chance to talk! But it really isn't bad, being a retainer for House Pelleaux, it's a lot better than digging through garbage. And who knows what I'll be someday, if I can pretend hard enough?

I'm lucky. I got given duty and purpose, even if I'm not very cut out for it. But like someone told me, in time, I'll make this life mine. Even if I have to fight.

...

Look out world, here I come!