Where can I find it?

[BoryaTheSlayer]

... So much has changed since then.

When I was a young girl, I wanted to get back what I lost. And so, I went to the ones who promised me the ability to do so. There, I met many wonderful people. There were some that stood out, like the one I eventually began to call Mother, but there were others...

I was foolishly in love with a boy. Both him and I were looking for the same thing, but to different ends. We danced together in joy, even as the world around us burned down - and yet, I was not enough for him. My love was not enough for him. And so, he discarded me, and eventually, returned to take away even more. I hated him more than anyone else, even after he died. Though I hated death more, still.

After I had learned to move on from heartbreaks, I found another one I came to love with time. It grew quickly, much likely from our poor past experiences in romantic endeavors, but as quickly did it end when he was betrayed and, eventually, sent to his death in Osrona. What was left of him are the children, the last pieces of my human life.

Sometime after, I had become immortal, just as I wanted. It took way more years than it should have. Many setback were encountered along the way. But, in the end - I did it. I had all the time in the world to endlessly pursue the knowledge I desired.

... And yet as time went on, as the curse settled in further and further, those dreams of bringing back the ones who had long since departed drifted further and further away from my scattered mind. I hated him so much that I wanted to be as powerful as him after his death. To utterly usurp the place he held in people's minds.

Then I found yet another one to love. All I ever wanted in this life is to find another who will stay by my side forever, simply enjoying the vices eternal life has to offer. And we did just so, together; yet both of us coveted even greater power, ambitions of unimaginable magic.

And then were there many others with whom I had less memories, yet they made up that reality which I called my duchy all the same. Ailen, Adrian, Marjorie, my steward Task, even Araceli, and so on.

My ultimate desire was to maintain a single, beautiful moment; forever frozen in place. Before that fated battle, I had thought to stop the flow of time in all of Esshar. But then... I decided I would be content with keeping that moment all to myself, and another.

I shall keep him away for a while, but will we both return?.. Will only one of us return? Neither?

I suppose I messed up...

Perhaps you will find joy in this wretched world, unlike I, Justine, Emilia.