a strange & dusty, dusty book

[Dandeli]

The final pages of this book are expended; the parchment beyond this has been haphazardly ripped out,
Once again - intentions and the one whom she's addressing is.. well - confusing for a contextless reader!
Characteristically cryptic, her last words are laid out in delicate handwriting, refined and drawn thinly,
A travesty; for all those that think 'wow, this isn't very diary-esque', they're in luck! There are no more
pages to scribe on; the remains of teared innards have been sank in blotches of ebony; ink in it's origin.

To you,

the one unreachable; where no call will reach you,

the place where no courier could ever make the trek,

where no smile nor frown will ever meet your eyeline,

.

To you.. I vainly write to - I am sorry,
.

You existed; you were there - you stirred and elicited emotions; there was ire - there were smiles, there were tears,

you were as real as any of us; your marks made, your story scribed into Eternia's history,
.

We did not align at times - but it was not beyond your comprehension; you blossomed in a miracle,

Who is to say a 'miracle' couldn't happen twice?
.

Could you call it a miracle?
.

It was not a denial of fate - it was a possibility; that you could have loved - you did love,

You strived - we all strive; you reached out, with your hand, to try curl your fingers around existence - grasp ahold of it tightly,

fondly,
.

To live - you did a lot, didn't you?

You hurt - but it was not your fault,
.

You had to.

Thrust forth - you didn't pick your destiny,

You didn't get a selection; you were dealt an unfair hand,
.

The results were corrupt,
.

But you had to,
.

But it could have ended - your path could have been changed, impossibilities can be denied - you were meant to be one.

A new path birthed - but amidst that battle; words to words - hearts to hearts, I cruelly sought the opposite, didn't I?
.

I doubted,

I worried,
Falling, to vices.
.

Stuck between both worlds - I relinquished one side of the coin for another,

At the encroachment to your finality - I held it, a grip unsure, a warped desire; in the end? I faltered,

An epiphany struck me,
.

To pour out your last wishes,

Your last unrehearsed lines,
.

To see a unbridled, honest and true proclamation of a mere want to be,

it has moved so many,

.

I will live - with you in my memory, with you in my heart,

It has been stained within my mindscape - laid out in more than solely ink; your story lines pages of my recollections,
.

I cannot bring you back - it is the undoable; you were strikingly true,

You were you - you existed,
.

And now you do not.
.

You never will again.
.

I'm so sorry.