Perpetua LIVII

[Laemor]

"I'm one with my blade, as my blade is with me."

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Whoever coined the phrase, life is a lesson? 
Was right
      
For as I continue to age? Do I find myself being put into situations I never thought I'd encounter. With every day passing, I feel as if I'm being put to a test, I know not whether my answers were right or wrong too. Yet I'm forced to put on a face of courage, of inspiration... If not for myself? Than for the children who aspire to be like me. Who see only a man wielding a blade, somehow manifesting destiny. 
  
Even I would find the story inspiring, even I would find the sight as something worthwhile...
  
But can they all even begin to imagine...
  
Where fear once gripped me, now it's become a sense of restlessness. Like screaming out without spoken words, my hearts becoming a mountain top I can't yet fully ascend to. Even as I strive for peace on Esshar, focusing my attention to other dangers that lurk, I fear I'll be unable to avoid raising my blade once more against those I've considered friends.

I've grown so tired, but I persevere nonetheless...