Perpetua LIVII

[Laemor]

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"With hands held tightly around my blade...

I've come to find myself seeing the truth in what those had told me... That my attempts at saving all those around me? Would be my ruin, would bring me more enemies than allies. Clear as day it became when I was brought to my knees before the Osronaian army, with Achyon to my back, I was merely a trigger away from departing the land... Since then? It's felt as though death has become the only thing to embrace me... Have I changed? If I have? Isn't that natures intention...

I'm not stronger than those I must defeat... Yet when people come to me and request my assistance? I cannot do nothing, but laugh. 

Am I worthy of their attention? 

I feel so unworthy to hold onto this blade...

It's weight holds only one life, but it burdens me so greatly. Those who desire to be a hero... Speak so highly of it. 

I wonder what they'd think of me. If they knew how I honestly felt. How scared of death I am. 

How badly I want to live, and see tomorrow beside them.

   
   

Does the voice attempt reaching out to those in need...

Because if not me? Who has risen from ashes, from nothing... Then who else? I ask not for something in-return, but the knowledge of having saved a life that might've seen its end. To avoid the painic-striken faces that come with being oblivious to your allies life ending. Despite the strength I express to others, no matter how cold I might be perceived when I tell others to press on. It is because I've seen the cruelty of this world. I have given birth to opportunities where others could be exposed to danger. Because I risk myself out there.

Someone once told me... With hatred in their voice...

"What kind of Hero am I?"

Justifying the defense of a killer...

To this day, it's not something I can answer. All I can say is? 

There are no enemies, we are, but ordinary men. Fighting for our ideals... 

Is that Justice?

   
   

To know, I kneel. For no one... But them."

For life has taught me many things. Where symbol lies in the oath and not the action... 

For in the truth of it all? 

Many have brought me down... Many have tested themselves against me...

Within my failures though, do I find clarity. The rage, the anger, the sadness? They act as good motivation, for what I must do. No matter how much I try to avoid the battlefield, I find myself naturally drawn to the conflict. Is this the meaning in what was once spoken to me before... "A mans holds power over their mind, not the outside world... That is where you'll find true strength. And true delight, will be found in what you were made for."