Wishing you were here.

[Threemadbroski]

I'm sorry. That is all I can ever say. Recently I've felt the lack of courage I have or rather confidence in what I do. Biblos even saw me as worthy. I even managed to find the scarf of some fae king and participate in a tournament thanks to it. I couldn't fortify the spirit of another something I feel like is a basic duty as an acolyte. I tried my best to amplify his prayer. Somebody who I consider my friend only to let him down. Instead contacting something foreign. I even called upon your name before I did Biblos. I don't feel worthy to even look at the same night sky you once gaze upon with so much love. Even if you are looking down instead of up now it has to be in disgust.
 Especially after this display.

I hurt. Usually crying makes me feel better. But it's starting to simply bring more negative thoughts to my mind. But that's alright. Even if I can't see myself in a respectful manner. The night sky is kind, It will forgive me for such a screw up. But I can't help but feel nothing but fear that I know I'll have no choice but to confront. I didn't know it was even possible to reach out beyond Leonaus minus a few exceptions. I hope whatever it was doesn't begin to watch him. But while I drive my self insane by weaving an ocean from my eyes. I have to keep looking at the sky. Studying it. So I can make sure such an odd slip never happens again. Such a frightful event that is beyond my own thought process.

But even when I was trying to stay calm. His mother happened to walk in. I watched her console him. It's been a while since I've felt completely defeated. But that sealed the deal. Honestly that shouldn't have bothered me. But it did. It made me feel guilty. I always ponder how somebodies actions took you away from me and brother. But for a moment I thought how the opposite would feel if somebody lost their child. Once I calm down I'll keep walking forward. I'll remain motivated in the name of Biblos. Because if I can understand the sky just a little bit more these harsh realities might just become a little more approachable through compassion. Anyways I need to get my thoughts coherent again first so I suppose I'll be sleeping for now.
-Isadora