Grey Nights in Greycloaks

[Tattles]

Summer, 1741

So many called you demon.
So many others believed you to be our own angel sent from beyond.
But I told you once before that, to me, you were only ever just yourself.

You were a soldier saved by our Rites, and all too soon the second High Leader of our young kingdom.
In my youth, I saw you as a liar. In my adolescents, I saw you as my opposite. And in my adulthood, you were nothing less than the mother I was forced to go without.

--

I distrusted you when you married her.
On the night of your wedding, I told you that you would never be one of us.
And yet you became one of the best of our kin, for you were part of our blood and our blessing long before you took the Rite.

You were a man of great ideas, of thoughts and concepts that could have changed the world over had you the backing to see it through. You showed my people that there were some loves that couldn't be broken, and you became a father that I'd lost.

--

I always spoke of weathering the storm.
But you showed me that you were the storm.
You were the first human I'd ever chosen to trust, and the one who brought me into your home like I was one of you.

We spoke often of the kind of world we'd build together. We were scolded for believing in such idealistic things as peace and prosperity, unity for all. 
You were my Commander, and above that you were my friend.

--

I wonder if I'll be seen as a demon, Asta.
I wonder if I'll be capable of compromise and diplomacy, Regulus.
I wonder if I'll be able to weather this next storm without you, Ilsa.

Each one of you taught me invaluable lessons that I could never repay you for. Each one of you showed me when I was incorrect, when there was a better way to go about something. I wouldn't be who I am today without living through what I have at your sides. And now I must face the fact that you're all gone. I must live knowing that this night will replay in my dreams until the day I pass on. For though I gave the orders, the screams and the fires of Osrona's fall will never be something I can forget. Is this the curse of my blood? Is this what my grandfather knew I'd become?

I wonder if we'll ever meet again someday.
Someday when this is all finally over.