Ashes No More

[ASignalInTheNoise]

The years have passed slowly.

My work has taken so long.

I have learned much, through trial and error.

I have studied Change. It continues to defy mastery - defy my touch, and yet I am closer to it than ever before.

Felice has guided me - a thing much appreciate, and also a wholly unlikely set of people to join together for anything...

... but, I cannot argue with the results.

The hope of achieving my dreams and more has reignited the ember. Pushed my dreams further than before.

There is hope to achieve them, now, to reforge the chains that bound me and so many others.

Hope.

Such a fickle thing.

---

Uralai ...

I miss you. Every day I miss you.

You were not like everyone else. You were not like the people who pretend.

You did not pretend.

That, I miss. Honesty, no matter how blunt it was.

I have tried to stay true to the things you have asked of me when you were in this world.

Continued on my own path, seeking my own freedom.

I still remember.

And I will until I no longer draw breath.

It's so close now - I can reach out and touch it. The first step on that path I told you I would walk.

The others will not take it kindly. I know. I have always known since I walked upon this path.

Gideon...

... I fear he suspects me of something.

But I can't let fear stop me now.

Not when I am about to take flight.

So long ago, they told me that I had fallen.

And yet now I see I had just begun to catch the wind in my wings...

Free.

---

And so my worst fear came to pass.

I knew they would tolerate it for a time, but it was always a question of when they would draw the line - not if.

I believed that I was trusted. I believed that they would understand, no matter how my study changed me.

I had such hope and faith in my fellow man. I was so proud to stand alongside them, each of us pursuing our own path to freedom.

Never before have I tasted such bitterness, not even in the most humbling of defeats. To be so wantonly stripped of my humanity, without hesitation, by the man I trusted most.

This pain is worse then the transformation. Worse than the feeling of my body recoiling against the occult energies I steeped it in for this. Worse than the pain of the horns erupting from my forehead. So much worse.

I understand Felice's rage now. I understand so deeply.

He took it back the moment he understood that I had not done what he feared - but the damage is done.

Aetius is no longer a place to call home. No longer my sanctuary.

I think this wouldn't hurt so much, if I hadn't opened my heart to him. If I hadn't shared that moment with him...

... but experience is a cold, cruel teacher. I will never bear my heart to anyone, ever again. I once dreamed that I would not be alone on this road.

Some dreams aren't meant to be.

But I won't turn my back on my promise. Even if Humanity scorns me-

Heretic, traitor, demon, cursed, corrupted, they'll call me.

I will still stand for them.

When I look within,
I finally understand.
We must embrace the night,
To find the light again.