05-14-2025, 02:54 AM
"Kindred Soul of Mine,"
[Why do we act as if she can ever read one of these letters?]
[We cannot even think of the words to write upon parchment, that you only plan this one in your head.]
Retirement has fallen to being all that I predicted, a cage of the self enforced by none other than solely myself,
As I continue to chain myself down to watch the world move on by, waiting and waiting for a chance.
Waiting to be needed.
While I force others to see me rot away.
The one cruelty I commit without thought, by binding myself to a silence of my own make.
For it is far easier than opening up to more faces anew.
Where even the ever-steady flow of that fountain and its waters have become a constant companion.
I have lost myself in its reflection, wondering who it was that stared back at me.
Until I recognized that this is who I had become, not lost to scar nor brand,
But drowned and hollowed out by nothing other than self-defeat and boredom.
While I allowed you to watch and suffer, as I crippled myself with little but the worst of poisons.
My own mind, and its trepidations.
As I try to answer but one question, that I want to show you the solution to in time.
![[Image: Which-You.png]](https://i.ibb.co/JjrBsDX3/Which-You.png)
I dont think I truly wanted wings.
As much as I wanted what they represented to me.
What I castigated myself into not to remembering how you show it, in every single moment you can.
Until I finally had enough, not in what it did to me, but to you.
I suppose ...
![[Image: Image-eyes.png]](https://i.ibb.co/hR5zrkPp/Image-eyes.png)
[Why do we act as if she can ever read one of these letters?]
[...]
[Why are we falling back on this unhealthy delusion. Did we not move on?][We have others to talk to now.]
[...]
[It is time to no longer be afraid.]
"███████,"[We cannot even think of the words to write upon parchment, that you only plan this one in your head.]
[Everyone prepares to write by first thinking what to say]
[There is no need to hide behind the letters anymore.]
[Be honest with yourself, you can do it.]
Retirement has fallen to being all that I predicted, a cage of the self enforced by none other than solely myself,
As I continue to chain myself down to watch the world move on by, waiting and waiting for a chance.
Waiting to be needed.
While I force others to see me rot away.
The one cruelty I commit without thought, by binding myself to a silence of my own make.
For it is far easier than opening up to more faces anew.
Where even the ever-steady flow of that fountain and its waters have become a constant companion.
I have lost myself in its reflection, wondering who it was that stared back at me.
Until I recognized that this is who I had become, not lost to scar nor brand,
But drowned and hollowed out by nothing other than self-defeat and boredom.
While I allowed you to watch and suffer, as I crippled myself with little but the worst of poisons.
My own mind, and its trepidations.
As I try to answer but one question, that I want to show you the solution to in time.
Who am I, when you banish ranks and titles?
Who am I, when you strip away the armor?
Who am I, when you strip away the armor?
Who am I, when you close the distance?
Who am I, when you tear off the mask?
Who am I beneath it all?
Who am I?
Tell me who to be.
[Bold. Playful. Bright. Intense.]
Who am I?
Tell me who to be.
[Bold. Playful. Bright. Intense.]
Who is it that makes you smile?
That is who I want to be.
Do you remember?
That youthful dream born of silly delusions,
That I once wanted for the sake of proving that I had value.
When all I needed, was either of you saying it?
I dont think I truly wanted wings.
As much as I wanted what they represented to me.
What I castigated myself into not to remembering how you show it, in every single moment you can.
Until I finally had enough, not in what it did to me, but to you.
I suppose ...
[No.]
I believe ...[Better.]
I know, that it is time for me to stop feeling so sorry for myself.
It is time to open my eyes, and to see once more.
It is time to open my eyes, and to see once more.
It is time to try again, and to do better this time.
We will build us those Wings on the way up, till I become who you have always seen beneath it all,
The one who has always been there, despite how much he tries to drown himself,
By finding that hopeful motivation in hiding once more,
Beneath all the layers, walls and retreats,
Until we get there.
I Promise.
By finding that hopeful motivation in hiding once more,
Beneath all the layers, walls and retreats,
Until we get there.
I Promise.