Ashes No More

[ASignalInTheNoise]

And so, it is done.

The Crown was broken.

It feels so hollow, now.

Franz is dead. Adelaide is in exile.

And I am left now, feeling nothing.

I miss the passion I once held.

I miss the flame within that was bright and happy.

Yet all I feel in my heart now is a yawning void, where once ambitions and hope used to be.

I do not despair, for despair would do me nothing but cause suffering - but is no flame there anymore.

Neglected by my liege for so long ... filed with hate, only for that hate to suddenly have no purpose.

Caethir is ruled by a new monarch. And I want nothing to do with that city.

I want no power, no title, nothing.

It is over.

---

Is all that is left within me the past? I said I was free of my chains, and yet they seem to be even heavier than before.

Everything I had worked for, all my vows, all my efforts - they were for nothing, in the end. I cannot lay claim to them.

All there is, is ash. The past of my fathers. My broken vows to Ualdir and Caethir. Is that all I have done - break things?

I've wanted to create things for so long, and yet all I seem to know how to do is break.

This doesn't hurt. Not in any way I would know, truly; all I feel - is empty and hollow.

Apathetic.

It's so hard to draw meaning from this world, from the little struggles and the suffering.

I struggled so hard to build something great. And it doesn't even matter anymore.

Why try?

Why give this world more of my life than I already have?

The Astral becomes more appealing by the moment.

It is hard to love a world where your actions have no meaning.

At least in infinity, there is a reason they do not matter.

---

The only true thing I can find myself to bring is hate and pain.

It is kept under tight lock and key, deep within my heart. Sealed away to where no man or woman could touch it.

Because I would fall apart, if I did not have that last fire within me. The rage at the senselessness of the world ... the hate, of being powerless to change it.

The pain of knowing the actions I take have never done anything meaningful for anyone - they have only hurt.

Those words, on that night, to Uralai...

About Halik.

How he would either be a traitor, or die. So callous.

False promises and half-lies, all to just secure a faint advantage against Caethir.

Aquilla...

I am sorry you were dragged into this through my hand.

I hope, in some capacity, you are well.

Am I a good person?

No.

I don't think so.

Is that okay?

---

The fire is gone.