I cant stay happy

[magicschoolbusdropout]

"Do you ever just look around and feel like no one sees you and if they do they just see a monster? Yeah, that is my life. I sit around doing nothing bad but get labeled an occultist or a monster all because i was born. Against my better nature, I  avoided the occult, and I avoided all the mentalities that came along with it. I was born into this life, not made into it. I know there are rituals to change me, but why would I do something to make me not me? Why would I possibly kill myself for the low possibility of anything happening to you? 

I protect and serve those around me. I help anyone and everyone. I am the next up-and-coming medic, All I want is for everyone to be safe is that so much to ask? Instead, I am berated, attacked, and Blamed for someone else's mistakes, and I am left with no friends around who see me or check up on me. If I want to speak to them, I have to make my way to them.

Why do I have to do everything for everyone else, but no one is there to help me when I need it? Why am I lost in not knowing who I am meant to be because I was born into a life I did not ask for? Why am I the one who has to be hurt because others can't understand? 

Why don't I just...give up If I can't be happy?"

-The Diary of A.H