A controversial suggestion

[Malek]

A skill gap will always exist, that's fine. I think there's a skill canyon though if you've never sparred a build. There's plenty of players/builds you have 0 chance of beating if you've never fought something similarly before. 

You learn very little in a danger that ends in 0 seconds because it's 3 rounds and who knows when you're going to see the same person again. Spars let you not only learn what the spells do, but what kind of playstyles you should expect from each build.

It's fine if skill gaps exist and like you said, and there needs to be more pity systems. Too many things favor the people that already know what's meta and have already fought enough times to count for more than people's spars. If you lose a fight, it's almost exclusively a mechanical negative to you unless you're going to app for something (Of course, that's not the case narratively). You get weaker, either for a while or permanently, or you get capped and potentially killed.

The gap only allows the metabuilders and long time players to snowball. Getting rid of spars or knowledge on the meta doesn't stop the problem, it only stops people from knowing enough to point it out.