To Asta,

I saw you again, but you were not yourself.
They wanted to use you against us, but I refused to believe their poisoned words.
Are you at peace now, mom? Are you happy?
It would have been a really good day.
We would have had another dinner, the same as always.
Give you a glass of wine, and we'd talk about the future.
I would have a cake brought in with an ever growing number of candles.
And you would just look a little exasperated, but you would go along with it.
And then afterwards, you would leave us to go into the Vale alone.
I always wondered what it was you always did in there back then.
Now I regret not having tried to accompany you. I should have at least asked, but I knew you preferred it that way.
You've been gone nearly five years now Mom.
The world I knew turned upside down and inside out when you went, and it hasn't been the same ever since.
I really don't think it ever will.
I would give anything to see you again, to hear your voice again.
Talk with you again, hear your laughter, your odd jokes that always threw me off.

I would give anything.
Happy Birthday Mom.
I love you, and I miss you so very very very much.